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Sunday, November 16, 2008

Luminous Improvisation - Subject: Bowling - Time: Unlimited - Number of Players: To Be Determined...!

On this Sunday, I passed a test of near... folly!
IT WAS AN *AUDITION*... sort of!

I made history, in effect, for all intents and purposes - by being there in what is to be the last ever such "training camp" session in the history of LA ROCAMBOLESQUE - aka PHANTASTICUS.

It took place at a "theater" that is truly not it at all - it is, in fact, an old factory subdivided into numerous locales uniformally used for arts and crafts!

Camp de recrutement de La Rocambolesque (division P) pour la saison 2008-2009 - wow, even the DIVISION seemed to be named after ME! (Clue: my last name starts with a P... You all thought it was P for Phantasticus, didn't ya? HA!)

I was the first one there too; and the first to leave too! I was in a hurry, see... More on that in a jiffy!

I got there real early and immediately established myself as a reliable player - the rock upon which the rest of thr troupe could rely - IF I would stick around and play along, that is!

But as it is, most members of the makeshift troupe (save for a precious few - whose names I already forgot! So much for the memory jog exercise we had, early on... Don't ask!) did not realize the HONOR they had to practice their acting skills alongside Luminous (\ô/) Luciano - for a six-hour long session, or whatever it was again... Of course, when one does not know who one is dealing with, it is easy to fall back upon the dreadful, wrongful "first impression" - and since I never smile, never bother to be cordial, since I am Luminous ON THE INSIDE whenever I dabble with social engagements of any sort - it can only be the damnable first impression that prevails, always. Too bad I am not more into customer services practices - eh? Oh wait - I am a certified pro in customer-pleasing, according to my colleagues and mentors--of-trade...! I forgot that!

I am not forced to smile when I'm off-duty then!

Thus, I spent hours improvising routines, sketches, acting as I always knew I had the NATURAL KNACK for!

My first words to the head of La Rocambolesque was indeed this: "I thought I'd try this NOW, as I didn't do it earlier in life, when I was YOUNGER..."

When I said that, I was convinced that I'd be the older gent there, of course. Much to my surprise (chagrin, even?) there was a stuffy older gal there (such a bad actress too) and an older guy as well; with the cliché "grandpa look" too! During a sketch in which we were all playing the parts of TODDLERS, I couldn't resist temptation and turned towards that scruffy old guy and shouted "DADA!"
Not that the old geiser could hold a candle to my saintly father - not ever, not in gazillion years...

Next were more interesting sketches in which I got to play the hard-as-nails parts, always - getting typecast, was I? Hey, I like my Terminator look and have worked on it for YEARS now! ;)
So, no - I do not mind!

My final performance of the day was the part of a bitter head of family, stuck with a high strung wife, crybaby daughter and "rebel-without-much-of-a-cause" teenaged son, freshly returned from his runaway period!

I directed it too!
Ah - I'm such a natural for this sort of thing!
Maybe I'll stick with it, yet...

So I spend an extenuating day like this, swiftly tossing aside all of my reserve...
And then, as if that wasn't enough, I went on to participate in the bowling event organized by a colleague, with the goal being to cement team spirit - "FOR THE (overall) TEAM" - rrrrright.
What an HUMBLING experience that was, TOO!
I wind up captaining a team that has two players who just don't listen to my wise bits of advice... a young gun who mysteriously misfires... and my good old pal of always, who sucks at bowling! Yet, he came out of this mess with a 10 dollar gift certificate - as the consolation price awarded to the team with the lowest score went to HIM, the chap who is most probably the chief reason we averaged such a lowly score in the first place!
Me, I did pretty good (with scores of 118, 112 and 97, at first - hey, I was rusty!) and yet, as the de facto captain of the team, it is unofficially pinned on ME that the team averaged the lowest totals of the four hastily put together teams there, as it is hence and forevermore to be referred to as "Luciano's team"... Grrrrrrr!
Yet, I didn't even get to pick my team!!!
Otherwise, I would've picked at least one of the two "seasoned pros" available to draft - having a rivalry within the team wouldn't have mattered much, as long as the team averages a lot of points! In fact, with someone "pushing" me right from the onset, it would have only bettered my performance!
Needless to say, I wasn't exactly "pushed" (nor challenged, quite frankly! *lol* I jest...!) by good ol' pal Mike... the aforementioned fine young man who had an "off-night"... the workhorse of the company... his girlfriend... and... that's it!
(Geewhiz - that really was our team! No wonder we lost! *LOL* But I am digressing - again.)

But back to the IMPROV now...

Thanks for the job offer - although the job is NOT a job in the traditional sense of the word - at all...
Thanks for the opportunity to make a splash on the artistic scene AT LONG LAST - as I know fully well to be my God-given RIGHT! I have all the God-given talent, intuition and artistic sense FOR IT...
Thanks for the nod of approval, Rémi B. and the Rocambolesque peeps...

Thanks -
but it is likely no thanks.


It truly was your honor and privilege
to act alongside my person - as it was my pleasure
to act alongside a select number of you...!
I was your Roger Lebel... your Septimiu Sever...
(although, I am sure, the old crusty guy fashioned himself as the latter - I am sure of it!)
I was your Jean-Louis Millette
Your Philippe Noiret!
Your Leo McKern!
And some of you simply did not realize it...!

Well, Rémi did!

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