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Saturday, December 10, 2005

Saturday Sports on TLB

We're the tenth of December already - sheesh! Time flies...
On this date, in the wild world of sports (in ascending order - because, the further into the past we go, the more value it has!)
December 10, 1995 1st meeting of NBA expansion teams, Raptors beat Grizzlies 93-81 (see what I mean? The Raptors suck dinosaur eggs - and the Grizzlies have skipped their original town of birth a looooooong time ago... and suck just as bad!)
December 10, 1995 Kelly Robbins and Tammie Green win LPGA Diner's Club Golf Matches (hmm... where is the feat in that? Unless they skipped dinner to do so... I don't see much of an exploit here?!?)
December 10, 1995 Michael Slater scores 219 vs. Sri Lanka at the WACA (The WACA... I see... what is this? Cricket again?!?)
December 10, 1995 Muralitharan takes 2-224 in Australian innings of 5-617 (I guess that answers it...)
December 10, 1995 Ricky Ponting makes 96 on Test Cricket debut (Aust vs. Sri Lanka, WACA) Hmm... who in blue blazes is a cricket fan - aside from Charles, William and Harry?
December 10, 1995 Worst snowstorm in Buffalo history, 37.9" in 24 hours (Starting Dec 9 at 7 PM, breaks previous record of 25.3" in 1982) - Okay, what is this doing here? Well - my purpose is two-fold! I want to formulate the wish that we never see so much snow again (not even Buffalo deserves this!) And... I must confirm to all who live in "snowless territories" that YES - SNOW REMOVAL IS QUITE THE TAXING "SPORT"... all by itself as in itself!
December 10, 1994 60th Heisman Trophy Award: Rashaan Salaam, Colorado (RB) Hmm... so Rashaan here is beyond suspicion for any Al Qaida ties - because of the Heisman Iceman factor? But Cat Stevens wasn't...? Okaaaaay...
December 10, 1992 NHL awards franchises to Miami and Anaheim (for 1994-95) And, today, ten years later... we all wonder WHY!
December 10, 1992 New York Yankees sign free agent pitcher Jimmy Key (and he promptly proved to be the "key" to absolutely NOTHING!)
December 10, 1992 Orlando Magic scores 14 3-pointers (2 shy of record) (I say when magic is used, it isn't a valid exploit! At least the Boston Celtics records are all earned the good old-fashioned way! Yay! And those nasty rumors that they had help from some leprechaun are totally and completely unfounded - ok?)
December 10, 1991 Howard Spira sentenced to 2 years in prison for trying to extort money from Yankees owner George Steinbrenner (a dangerous sport to try and take away money from money-grubbing George...
December 10, 1988 Washington Capitals 1st NHL scoreless tie, vs Montreal Canadiens (also known as the most boring hockey game EVER - no wonder Montreal was involved...)
December 10, 1986 Atlanta Hawk Dominique Wilkins scores 57 points vs Chicago Bulls (he never scored that many either against or FOR Boston!)
December 10, 1983 58th Australian Womens Tennis: M Navratilova beats K Jordan (62 76) Hmm... the question is... who is K. Jordan? I am sure any lesbian who knows how to handle a tennis racket could have taken her...
December 10, 1983 Last NFL game at Shea Stadium; Steelers beat New York Jets 34-7 (Thus, the Jets go out of Shea with a whimper, a whine... and no other "W" of any kind! HA - the Jets can never beat the Patriots even when the Pats are at their very worse!)
December 10, 1982 Heavyweight Mike Doakes KOs Mike Weaver in 1:03 in Las Vegas (I predicted that too - before the fight, I remember saying the prophetic words "Mike is going to win this one!" *lol*)
December 10, 1978 67th Davis Cup: USA beats Great Britain in Rancho Mirage (4-1) (the USA have had Britain's number since 1776 - just one of those things in the wild, and often weird world of sports!)
December 10, 1978 Islanders ends 15 game undefeated streak (12-0-3) to Canadiens (hey - after fifteen big ones, the guys were understandably tired...! In 1978 the Big Bad Bruins were indeed big and bad... and the Broadstreet Bullies -aka the Philadelphia Flyers- were indeed bullies... and toothless, but that is another story... *lol*)
December 10, 1975 Terry Funk beats Jack Brisco in Miami Beach, to become NWA champ (Ric Flair hadn't begun his title collecting yet - they had to have SOMEBODY win the belt in the meantime... right?)
December 10, 1970 North American Soccer League awards New York and Toronto franchises (Toronto, as usual, fizzles fast - but New York rallies to its cause all the top international soccer players money can buy! European football I should say, since I know better than to call it "soccer"... sucka! *lol* At the height of blaxploitation flicks in the USA, they bring in black superstar Pélé to headline an all-star line-up that still manages to disappoint - just like the Yankees, Rangers, Islanders, Jets, Giants, Mets... all do all the time! They had to be all-stars though - the team was named the New York Cosmos...!)
December 10, 1968 Joe Frazier beats Oscar Bonavena in 15 rounds for the heavyweight boxing title (not all Oscars are worth the same - Bonavena was no De La Hoya...)
December 10, 1961 Houston Oiler Billy Cannon gains record 373 yards against Titans (Cronus was not pleased - Thia was seen flirting with Billy during half-time...)
December 10, 1958 University of Pittsburgh agrees to buy Forbes Field from the Pirates (har-har - what a deal for the old sea dogs... eh?)
December 10, 1954 Philadelphia Phillies purchase Connie Mack Stadium (yeah - it was the stadium purchasing boom in the fifties - in Pennsylvania anyway! Stadiums were cheap - land was cheap - everything was cheap! Ahh - now those were the days!)
December 10, 1939 Green Bay Packers win NFL championship, beat New York Giants 27-0 (couldn't have happened to a nicer town - New York deserves the trouncing! ;)
December 10, 1938 26th CFL Grey Cup: Toronto Argonauts defeats Winnipeg Blue Bombers, 30-7 (the real-life Winnie The Pooh, who did reside in Winnipeg and was female, was spared the result...)
December 10, 1935 A's sell Jimmie Foxx to the Red Sox for $150,000 (they sold the Babe, but bought the Fox(x) - it all evens out I suppose...)
December 10, 1935 White Sox sell Al Simmons to the Tigers for $75,000 (isn't that kind of cheap - even for those days?)
December 10, 1934 NFL adopts player waiver rule; applies after 6th game of season (trash collection can be done at anytime during the season though - just ask Terrell Owens this year...)
December 10, 1929 Bradman scores 225 in 2nd inn of Test Cricket trial after 124 in 1st (if that was merely a test - what will the actual thing be like...?!? Maybe not much after all - since "Bradman" here is not even illustrious enough to have his first name remembered here...!)
December 10, 1924 Aggreement reached on permanent rotation of World Series with each league, getting games 1, 2, 6, 7 in alternating years (I am not sure the Red Sox were happy about that in 1986... but they didn't mind it at all in 2004... Red Sox won! :)
December 10, 1922 Pete Henry makes longest known NFL drop-kicked field goal, 45 yards (it is official - I have inexorably contaminated by pro-wrestling! I keep seeing a wrestling type of dropkick when I try to visualize in my mind's eye a "drop-kicked field goal". Sheesh! To my defense, a great number of former football players have become pro-wrestlers as well in the decades since 1922...)
December 10, 1919 NL votes to ban the spitball's use by all new pitchers (yeah - ban that! Yuck - the "spitball" - that is disgusting! Bet you the Black Sox used that one...)
December 10, 1919 NY, Boston, and Chicago, oppose American League resolution accusing Ban Johnson of overstepping his duties... (my - of course! The big-spending clubs to the rescue of... "Ban"! Why, they couldn't let them just... ban Ban (!) now, could they?) *lol*
I'd say this was a typo and that the real name there was to be Ben Johnson... but then I would make other funnies, more aggravating this time, with the modern-day Ben Johnson in mind... so... let's just quit while we're ahead here - shall we?
No predictions on the week-end's match-ups - I am not following anything anymore! I couldn't give a flying gig who wins, who loses and who chokes this week-end! Or the one after that... Or the one after that... Or... the one after that...!

If you care to check out the veracity of these historical facts - be my guest and click on the link at the bottom of this post...!


Friday, December 09, 2005

Luminous Friday Night Videos!

The new TLB tradition - and a long time coming it was too!
Fear not, though, faithful TLB regulars - it is here to stay!
After consideration, I've decided to do it this way... the democratic luminous way!
Aye - though I once posted the luminous words "my blog; my way" right here on TLB (*lol*) I will not be accused of having this be a dictatorial blog! (Although, for the record, this would be a *luminous dictature* - and thus not so bad! *lol* Hey - if Dubya dreams of being a "fair dictator" in real life - I could be one here too - no?!? Yes... that is another story... let's move on...!)
Thus, my idea is to call upon you to VOTE for the video you want to see (and nostly listen to) for the next two weeks right here on The Luminous Blog... That's right folks! I will post a link to a *luminous selection* of top notch candidates - and I will post the video that tallies up the most votes right here next week! The week after that, another list of candidates... and so on!
In case of a tie, I will be the deciding vote, of course! ... :)
I promise also not to put together a list of ludicrous candidates with only ONE truly... ah... luminous choice hence (!) as to goad the vote in the direction that I want it to take! I am striving to be *luminous* after all - not *insidious*! *LOL*

The choices are thus:
That's right folks - the Battle of the Phils! *LOL*
Listen carefully to each on the link below - and choose wisely! ;)
Choose wisely for it is the tune that you will be hearing here for the next two weeks - starting next Friday! *lol*

In the meantime - enjoy the video below!

Myspace Layouts for Myspace :: Music Video Codes

Not influencing the vote - am I? *LOL*

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Thursday, December 08, 2005

Mary and John...?

Conflicting reports - according to *Twisted History* Mary, Queen of Scots would have been (unfairly) executed on this date... the same day John Lennon was shot and killed by a madman. Most regular ("non-twisted"?) historian sources cite the 8th of FEBRUARY as the date of the beheading of the fair Queen... not the 8th of December. Of course, history is not exactly an "exact science" ("hard" so-called exact sciences have it wrong all the time themselves - so what is it going to be with a "soft science" that is at the mercy of documentation left behind... and is prone to be reshaped and rewritten by the interpretations of revisionistic historians?)
Mary Queen of Scots simply has got to be a candidate for sainthood!
John Lennon? Maybe... simply because he was the victim of murder. He was not a role-model though... his lifestyle needed some ironing... but he did have a beautiful message of peace to deliver. Although I am glad he did not get to play the part of Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar... as it was proposed to him before anyone thought of Ted Neeley for the role.
It is the 25th anniversary of John Lennon's death... it is worthy of remembrance indeed. But it is not to coincide with any remembrance of the rightful queen of Scotland, England and France...

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

The heat is on... Quebec?!?

This record-breaking tropical storm season and hurricane season is something all right - a sign of change - BIG change! Twenty-six storms important enough to get a name - fourteen of which gathered up enough strength to be upgraded to hurricane-level... Both record numbers there! The planet is changing; and quite rapidly at that... Some poor guy in Florida said, without the hint of a smile, that he felt like his house must have had a bullseye on it this past summer - as three major hurricanes went by it... causing damage each time.

Quebeckers flock to Florida every year - they are retirees and such who cannot take the harshness of winter - and yet love their precious Quebec just as it is - and hope to see it gain its independence on some dark, cold day in the future...! But that sure is another story entirely...

So... Quebeckers flock to Florida - and both places seem to have a bullseye on them! For Quebec, it is the suggestion that they are the focal point... of global warming! Quite alarming when one thinks that the OTHER focal point is the polar icecaps - and they are right on top of the French Frogs (as they secretly loooooove to be called - n'est-ce pas, peuple Québécois? Hmm? Holler - I can't hear you! Must be the luminous music now to be found on my luminous blog that is muffling your chants... correct? Gee... I turned off the music and I still can't hear a thing... It is so silent in fact that you could hear a pin drop... or a frog croak? *lol*).

This situation is scary - the polar ice caps melting; not the frogs or the silence that permeates Quebec! After all, this is the place where they had a "QUIET Revolution" - non? But I digress... Thus, it is a scary polar meltdown that we have on the horizon here, yes. So much so, that Quebec youths (those with a brain that is) fear that, once the melting of the polar ice regions begins, they are going to be the primary victims of a new Great Flood - the 21st Century version!

People have noticed already that "Indian Summer" is gone (it only lasted a few days anyway! This paleface misses it about as much as he misses a scalp! Hmm... maybe that would solve my dry scalp problem though... as well as all my other problems, combined! *lol* I am in no hurry to find out though - Geronimo! Go find yourself a Pocahontas to play with - and bury that hatchet in someone else's back! Hmm... reminds me that I can't keel over dead just yet anyway - I've got an axe to grind with a few people - remember, all? *lol* But I digress again).

As a matter of fact, a scientific study has shown that the southwest of Quebec is where the heat truly is on - tis THE place where the weather has warmed up quicker than anywhere else ON THE PLANET! Over a degree now... whereas the average global warming is about 0.6 degrees warmer. This study has been commissioned by the venerable Thomas Mulcair - who, true to his name, had to see facts and figures in order to believe it! The minsiter of the environment, Thomas Mulcair was elected as the deputy of Chomedey (a district in Laval, the fairly big city right next to Montreal) in every single election he has been a part of. The old coots and old bags (as well as assorted witches of Chomedey) like him much... It's either that or they don't like change! (A funny anecdote about Chomedey - the voting center is located a mere corner street away from the famous street where "the devil's tracks" were found carved into the asphalt in the mid-1970s... Yes; the devil stopped by Chomedey on his way to Georgia, it seems! The mysterious tracks (never explained) were the marks of goat's hooves burned into the concrete - and it was a mystery never elucidated nor duplicated by the experts who analyzed these wretched marks! The devil was around - no wonder the weather started warming up! *lol*).

In fact, Montreal and its greater area has garnered a whole extra degree; and longer summers as also winters that are considerably milder too. Only casualty so far: the Indian Summer. It is bound to get worse... much worse than just that!

In the meantime though, I wonder and ask the question - why there? I mean - I know the place! The place STINKS! Laval and Montreal are, to me, Sodom and Gomorrah - Take Two! Only more insidious because it is all (or most of it is) behind closed doors... But I am digressing yet again, aren't I?

Still... my take on it is; must be because there's some backdoor there - a backdoor straight to HELL! All the evidence seems to point towards THAT... no?

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Aside from an obvious faux-pas or two there (squid do not appreciate getting eaten... not "ate". Plus... language, please - watch it with the language! I know, I know... lately, I haven't been exactly listening to my own advice myself...) - the above mock wanted ad expresses my current mood quite effectively.
With notable changes to be made though - to the reward price (*lol*), the individual(s) wanted dead... or dead (!) and a few other minor details, of course...

Certain individuals indeed (some neighbours as well a man I will reference to as "ELL" - exclusively! Though I already have named him once or twice before - most notably on my acclaimed Luminous Cartoon Strips - *lol* He sure is headlining my liste noire. Oh yeah...)
So... Yes - I am pissed off, I have had it and I have all the attitude needed to piss anybody off in return - a hundred-fold, really!

So, in the immortal words of *Weird Al Yankovic* himself... "Back off me, man - back off!"

Monday, December 05, 2005

RAW material...

Reality is stranger than fiction.
It is also more compelling, more harrowing at times and a hell of a lot more involving too - that goes without saying!

Mr. and Mrs. Richard Fliehr are undergoing some nasty divorce procedures (ironically just as those annoying commercials for the would-be entertaining piece of you-know-what on celluloid titled *Mr. And Mrs. Smith* keep coming on...!) and the judge presiding in this case - Judge Jane - is a thousand times more interesting than Judge Judy... or the insufferable Vince McMahon dressed up as a judge on this night's episode of RAW... but that is another sad story, indeed...

Richard Fliehr is, of course, really well known as The Nature Boy, Ric Flair...

On top of a nasty divorce, Flair owes the IRS and has been involved in an incident of road rage - in which he victimized some poor unsuspecting driver nearly half his age... allegedly!

All of this stuff was alluded to, *of course*, in the latest episode of Monday Night RAW (though it completely shatters the "image" Triple H wanted of a "career killer" after his Survivor Series staged show with Ric Flair ... but McMahon's Circus relishes these real-life scandals; as long as he is not endangered by it and stands to make some money out of it!).

On a new segment called The Cutting Edge, smooth slacker Adam Copeland (aka "Edge" the "Rated R Superstar"... sheesh!) and his own real-life scandal - the girlfriend he stole from a fellow wrestler, Amy Dumas (not dumbass *lol* - even though she quite evidently is - she is also known as Lita) sort of had their usual anti-establishment ranting session... briefly focusing on Flair's case.

All they said of importance though was that Flair went from "limousine-riding, jet-flying, kiss-stealing, wheeling-dealing son of a gun" to "mugshot-posing, IRS-owing, dejected divorcing..." he might have said "son of a bitch", but off to the top of my head, I don't quite recall right now...

Lita (who, ironically enough, does the same job for her precious Edge as Woman, Baby Doll, Elizabeth, Sherri and Debra all did, at one time or another, FOR FLAIR...) added that it was a disgrace that Flair was reduced to beating up people on the street - when he couldn't get the job done in the ring anymore...

No Arn Anderson to come speak up for Flair (as was the case on WCW) - so, instead, it was old NWA Flair opponents (and sometimes tag-team partners too) MICHAEL P.S. HAYES (of Fabulous Freebirds fame) and SGT. SLAUGHTER himself who came to shut Edge and Lita up...

Then it actually got REALLY INTERESTING...

Hayes said that he didn't know what it was with kids today - NO RESPECT. For it is thanks to guys like FLAIR, Hayes and Slaughter that punks like Edge have their job with all the benefits that they enjoy...

And besides - the real questions to ask were about Edge himself... does he measure up to Flair's accomplishments? Hayes asked "how many times did you pack up an arena and turned them away? How many times did you make the main event? How many times have you been world champion?".

Hayes supplied the answer too: "let me do the math for you, real quick... oh yeah... zero!"

An incensed Edge got the microphone Hayes was using to be cut (his segment; he can make the calls) and replied that he wouldn't shut up - he feared not a beating from the Freebirds... because Hayes had no back-up - not his usual back-up anyway... The Fabulous Freebirds are no longer, see? They were sort of like the Four Horsemen (and were immortalized in the opening moments of the movie Highlander - the original Christophe Lambert vehicle, yes... but that is another story) and used to hand out punishment as a tightly-knit fighting unit... in other words, like a street gang!

Two low blows followed, in rapid succession: first, Edge mentioned who he had in mind, and why he wasn't there...

"Terry - where's Terry? Terry Gordy is not here... cause Terry is DEAD" he said... Hayes turned in pain and disgust (it simply could NOT be acting - not this time) before replying with a low blow of his own; "You son of a bitch - the only reason why you have this (segment here) is because you are banging Matt Hardy's former girlfriend!".

Violence ensued - as is to be expected with these "segments"... a good thing Ric Flair did not show up as the guest, as had been originally scheduled and planned - he does not need to deal with a one-two punk & bitch punch as Edge and Lita at this time - and they made surprisingly short work of Sgt. Slaughter (G.I. Joe would NOT be proud - and to think that an Army representative was in attendance - because the WWE will dispatch some live entertainment again for the troops stationed in Afghanistan or Iraq or some damn place the US troops do not BELONG - very shortly... Flair will not make the trip this year, I don't think... send Edge and Lita instead, on penance, please WWE!). And so, the poor sarge was sent down with a kick to the privates. Then, after Hayes delivered some good shots (well-deserved too), the duo did their usual routine two-fold attack (she hops on their backs and scratches their eyes and he finishes them off with a halliburton briefcase shot to the head - always does the trick. Horsemen Mongo and Double J - and Flair himself - used to do exactly the same thing all the time... with the assistance of ditzy Debra, who just handed them the briefcase.)

And so ended the sickening segment...

Edge, Lita, Triple H - all of them will be getting theirs... one of these days!
Ditto for Vincent Kennedy McMahon... of course...

Speaking of Triple H... funny that only NOW (as Flair is undergoing some rather nasty divorce procedures befitting of the self-proclaimed "dirtiest player in the game") "The Game" (Triple H's preferred nickname) is acknowledging his real-life WIFE... Stephanie McMahon... that's right - the boss' daughter! The same little bitch whom I recall seeing telling Classy Freddie Blassie "the WWE is dead... just like you soon will be!" (I paraphrase - and if that doesn't make sense now, it is because, at the time, it was said as part of a storyline that had Steph and her brother leading an ECW/WCW alliance meant to destroy their father's company... What a farce it was too. They really only had 50% of ECW and about 25% of WCW to "lead" - and it was going to be the WWE prevailing all along, in the script... but I digress). The point is - shortly after she said these heinous words to a wheelchair-ridden Mr.Blassie (even though all an act, of course) - he did die.

Hmm... Flair should target HER to get to Triple H! That is something that the "dirtiest player in the game" would do... All in the spirit of a "good storyline" - of course! ;)

However, we have already seen here that REAL LIFE is much more intriguing, compelling and fascinating than the scripted sleaze can possibly be... especially in this kind of fare - but ultimately in any form of entertainment.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

rummaging through notes on sunday...

I know, I know... I was supposed to bring back "statistics sundays" today - but, quite frankly, I do not feel like it much on this rather bleak Sunday for me... so, instead, I scavenged through my pre-2002 notes... Writers are encouraged to always be taking notes - one never knows what will prove to be inspiring... these notes were jotted down with a good old-fashioned quill (okay - a ballpoint pen, actually...) and are so full of wisdom that, I instantly realize, that I made myself a disfavor by not making use of these notes earlier...

"There is much more justice in the universe than we realize, but it is not our job to mete out justice - or (even) to be there when it happens."

"Gloating diminishes us.
Paul Engle, a poet and founder of the famous Iowa Writers' Workshop, once introduced a man he had publicly insulted years before, by saying,
'I am small enough to have remembered what I did. He is big enough to have forgotten.'
Be big enough too. Forget and move on."

All that actually even pre-dates 9/11 - excerpted from a column titled "Direct Answers", the June 16, 2001 edition...
I am glad I preserved these words.
Today - of all days - they bring me comfort...
I am tired of all the fighting... I am weary... I am worn-out...
Bleak Sunday it is... hence, no Statistics Sunday for yet another week...
Blame it on the bleakness...

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