Saturday, February 17, 2007
Friday, February 16, 2007
P.N.News was the monicker a wrestler that time forgot had chosen, as an ingenious (for wrestling, it is) in-joke since his employer was really, at the time, Turner Broadcasting. Turner, back then, owned of course both CNN as well as WCW... Ah, those good old pre-AOL/Time Warner merger days...! No, I'm not getting nostalgic now - that stuff is good for the Saudades Blog! ;)
P.N. news, here, means something else entirely - for here today it means Pathetically Noxious news!
I feel nauseating anyways after each broadcast, notwithstanding the sex appeal of the lady "anchorperson" (how's that for being P.C. and still managing to remain gender-specific? After all, it NEEDS specifying what sort of anchorperson gets me thinking of what men are reputed to be thinking of every nine minutes or so... The other 8 minutes, of course, men are stuck with ladies such as those populating the movie 8 Femmes - not to be confused with 8 1/2 Women now! But I digress...)
Look at the newscast I just saw, which in fact triggered this very blogging session here:
- in a certain big town, in a bad part of town, a 20 year-old was stabbed to death.
- in a certain big town, in a bad neighborhood, a 30 year-old was beaten very nearly to death in his own apartment...!!!
- in a certain area surrounding said big town, in -evidently (?)- a bad neighborhood, a 40 year-old woman was found dead in her own suburban home. (Ste-Angèle-de-Monnoir - rings a bell? Maybe we have a new saintly lady there, now...her spirit that is).
Police is looking for evidence of foul play as I type this or as you read this (the local Clouseaus are slow, you know... They suffer from that rare disease; dunkinits hortonitis krispykremitis - slows down their entire metabolism! It's terrible, I tell ya... Well, I'd "tell ya", but I'd be digressing again - so let's just MOVE ON...!)
However, any more news items like these are best served - cold - on the lugubrious blog archival menu instead!
It's not all nausea though with these P.N. news - no, far from it! Truth to tell, I actually also laughed watching the news today! Sure did - and here is why!
First there was more pathetic displays of so-called earthly "justice" - up in Canada, the Crown's prosecutor was actually happy and even PROUD to announce that there had been sufficient deterrent "example" made from a case where there was, in the end, a complete ABSOLUTION! Wow - that'll sure teach them wannabe ruffians, eh? The case was pathetic to start with - so-called singing star Mario Pelchat was accused of having lost his marbles in a senseless display of road rage... He had allegedly roughed up a TRUCKER (that's believable) after his car and the truck had collided, somehow, at some intersection... "The Crown" estimates that the bad publicity was damaging enough to Pelchat -who still dreams of an international career, somehow- and THAT will serve as sufficient "deterrent" for the population at large not to make manic Mario there an example by throwing the book at him... HA! Right. Those punk kids that ganged up on Sébastien Lacasse several summers ago, 13 on 1, and beat and stabbed him to death on the streets of Laval (où il fait bon vivre - et mourir?) will certainly tremble in fear now... Those like them still at large, that is - because the culprits in THAT case got silly sentences of 5 to 10 years - for they are MINORS. Minor demons you must have surely meant, judge? RIGHT?
Those who might do something just as gruesome look at the ABSOLUTION of Pelchat (a singer they previously had no respect for whatsoever - now, they will put him on par with 50 Cent? LOL) and they look at more severe sentences for theft, enbezzlement and other things - and the punks everywhere will start believing that violence -even excessive/fatal violence- is A-OK! It's a way of life for some of them already, anyway...
Yeah - my laughter reverberated with that news bit... What else to do at the face of such nonsensical administering of "justice"...?!?
And then, it was with the quacks that it came again! I couldn't help but to laugh at this one too: DOC MAILLOUX, a sort of cross between Dr. Phil and the Mad Scientist of your choice, was finally barred from practicing. He will continue, however, to ramble on the radio where he dispenses his very odd brand of "professional advice".
Seeing him again made me think of another quack shrink who was in the news for daring to be found lamenting, on camera, that his government is cutting funding for the public health sector (especially in the mental health department) with the result that more of the mentally ill will be found 'out on the streets' instead of being strapped to a bed and forgotten there...? Gee, and we are talking about a society where there are already vast amounts of wackos and nutsos to be found on the loose...! A society that denounces crimes against humanity also - just ask Amnesty International... (And, no - those nutsos I mention, those that are 'on the loose', are not to be found blogging; they're "out on the field"... Preying - among us...)
What was so striking was that DOC MAILLOUX and that other nameless shrink both strike me as the archetypical -and, yes, stereotypical- shrinks WHO LOOK, SOUND AND ACT EVEN CRAZIER THAN THEIR CRAZIEST PATIENTS DO! But I digress...
All of this must be part of the joys of having international cable access - or a satellite dish - allocating you with the privilege of accessing the bizarre world we live in in various substratas of it - all in decay I'd say...
Thursday, February 15, 2007
It came to my attention that, in my state of ubiquitous luminescence across the world wide web, I have garnered a multi-faceted aura that mirrors quite faithfully both my multi-sided personality as also my amazing ability to indulge in multi-tasking! ;)
That is all well, fine and dandy with me - since I wanted it that way from the very beginning! Who do you think uploaded all those luminous visualizations of moi
in the first place... hmm? Here are just a few of these...
As a matter of fact, TLB Prime has, from time to time, showcased some of these pics already...
In the right corner here, a digitalized version of Young Luminous Me...! Or, as I like to call it, Luminoso En Herbe! ;) Herbal teas now - no pot for me! It is currently subbing for me on MySpace.Com, i.o.w. my Luminous Space on MySpace! Below, we find another allusion to my luminous corporeal form - I like to call that one "Luminous After Dark"! ;)
However, as much as it is all out there and, essentially, all over the place (forgive the Dylanism) - I seem to have lost one, at the front! :(
No battles are waged without casualties, as you well know...
The former profile pic I had put up at one of the fiercest battlegrounds I know (second only to sports-related message boards) was replaced by the one pic at the top left that represents the luminous early years...
I give it back to you, here and now, complete with the caption that I added to it, on a day like today; when throwing a fit...! ;)
And then there is always this sketch that may well be my portrait... By the ever-talented Anonymous Artist...
And yes, to those in doubt, I will confirm that I am the star of my own world - just like you are the shooting one of yours! So shut your yap and admire my luminous logo once more now... *LOL*
Nota Bene: It is strongly suggested and even luminously recommended to play the following song as you peruse the visuals of this post - for a complete luminous experience! Thank You! ;)
Very fascinating choice of words generated by the ''cyborg namedecoder'' there
"L.U.M.I.N.O.U.S. - Lifeform Used for Masterful Infiltration, Nocturnal Observation and Ultimate Sabotage"
"L.U.C.I.A.N.O. - Lifeform Used for Calculation, Immediate Assassination and Nocturnal Observation" - wow...!
I am most proud about the immediacy of certain alleged activities there - though purported to be a part of my ''agenda'' and, in fact, totally unfounded claims, I am nonetheless of the opinion that, if assassination should be attempted, it needs to be an immediate, swift action - yes! No beating around the bush with THAT! *LOL*
As for the sabotage - alas, it is self-inflicted most times here... :(
We are our own worst enemies - don't you all know that yet?
The Adversary can only succeed in tying us in that department...
But that is yet ANOTHER umpteenth story - yes!
For another blog - and another time!
As for just here and NOW...
Aww, let's provide my luminous fans with yet MORE depictions of their adored, adorable and adoring
- and shine on!
Labels: Luminous Luciano
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Everyone knows that Cupid is a fraud - on par with Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny, evidently - and yet, as with the other three miscreants, people keep on "pretending", year after year, time after time, every 14th of February... (Hence I choose to *officially* expose it one day early, here, on TLB Prime! ;)
"Ow, " will say the sappy suitor to his beloved out of the blue, "I think I've been stung by Cupid's arrow just now - and it was pointing at YOU!"
In reality, of course, the poor sap stung himself on the derrière on one of those gazillion plastic forks that get thrown in the garbage each year, by people "on the go" just like him, who will likewise catch love on the go as well... He is therefore, all at once, fooling himself, fooling her and contributing strongly to polluting the environment! And we haven't even gotten to the health hazards and just as wasteful behavior that comes with out-of-control chocolate consumption at these times of the year...! Truly, no matter which way you look at it, danger awaits in one form or another...! So much for "building a future" together - you're throwing it all away, along with those plastic utensils and chocolate wrappings!!!
The worst part is yet to come though: see what the alleged Valentine is saying, up there? He is showing his true colors all right: possessiveness, greed, lust, probably wrath if he doesn't get his way... None of those are nice traits, you know! Not befitting of a Romeo - at all! Nor are they fit for a Juliet, for that matter...! I think even Don Juan De Marco wasn't written like that - and Giacomo Casanova was not possessive one iota either! The saint whose reputation is tarnished to this day with all this and whose name is run through the chocolate mousse in the process (Valentine, duh!) bore none of those traits either (re-duh!). He couldn't, for crying out loud - he is a saint!!!
No, my friends and fellow L.O.V.s (need I remind you: Luminous Online Visitors!) - the answer is plain as day but none see it! CUPID IS THE CULPRIT! From his name we got CUPIDITY indeed - stop pretending not to see it and DUMP the little booger! Stick his chocolate-dipped arrows up his derrière and say "NO MORE" to the annoying fallen cherub, lustchild of the prince of lies, assuredly...! (Oh yeah, he's a fallen angel, there's no doubt about that! He leads not people to love but to all sorts of excesses; plus, chocolate is so darn expensive these days! *lol*)
Aye, my brethren - ditch the cupid one - he is cupidity personnified and we all know that "if you love somebody - set them free!" (The gospel according to... uh... Sting? Hmm... Choosing the devil you know is not the way to go here - anyway, Sting is reduced to reuniting with The Police these days; just like Don Henley rejoined The Eagles' flock... That means only one thing: his career is finished! At least Sting had not said that "hell would freeze over before a reunion happens" - however, Sting had exasperated his drummer, Stewart Copeland, enough that the latter wanted to beat him up back in the 80's! Hence proving that he is no better than Cupid - anyway, never trust someone that has no last name!!! Five-letter words are good for greeting people but not to wear as your name! That goes double for composite names actually; those made up of numbers and four-letter words...!)
Still - I would ditch Cupid anyway - if I were you! ;)
You can do it, people! You broke the Tooth Fairy's heart - now stick it to the fake instiller of "love"... will ya?!?
Monday, February 12, 2007
How perfectly things happen, sometimes...
I was listening to a particularly touching song recently, sung by the French crooner extraordinaire Johnny Halliday, whose godmother is the extraordinary diva Line Renaud, when I got word that my IMDB review of a documentary on the kind lady's wondrous career had pleased her immensely! Now there's true incentive to continue reviewing things there, I'd say!
Here are two examples of the classic material that this classy lady produced over the years:
Here is the IMDB review in question; for your reading pleasure (hey, if it pleased the lady herself, it should please the L.O.V.s as well! ;)
Few artists span the decades, the mediums and the continents the way that Line Renaud does. A true Diva -with a capital D, yes- Line Renaud is certainly among this prestigious elite and what endears her to her public and faithful fans is not so much her accomplishments, which are astounding, but her kind nature and all-around wholesomeness, apparent since day one, when she produced herself under the nom d'artiste of Jacqueline Ray.
This documentary reflects to the utmost degree the grandeur of the woman and all of her importance in both the history of her native country as in that of show-business overall. An accomplished singer and actress, she has also been the voice of aids awareness and fund-raising in France. Her devotion to her craft, her loved ones and her country knows no bounds - and we see the progression of that, decade by decade, year by year, all throughout this fascinating time capsule extremely well-narrated and well conceived too.
Line Renaud is, all at once, the Doris Day, Elizabeth Taylor, Amalia Rodrigues, Debbie Reynolds, Michèle Richard, Joan Baez and Dusty Springfield of her nation! She combines the talent and qualities of all of these - and more - either on stage (as either an actress or a singer) on film or in real life. All the evidence of that is made amply available here through vast archival material from many sources, footage that shows the extent of the amazing career this fascinating lady has enjoyed and continues to enjoy to this day. From Bob Hope to Madonna - everyone makes a cameo here! Even Woody Allen is mentioned here - this first lady of entertainment has affected them all and, through her touching and often groundbreaking work, she has moved us all too, no matter where we are on the planet and whether we speak French or not!
Louis Gasté (Loulou) was her husband, great love and invaluable supporter since the very beginning. With him by her side, she toured the planet, went everywhere, recorded the same hit song in five different languages and did what none had done before - creating envy amongst several of her peers which caused a need to exile, for a while... "Qu'à cela ne tienne", as they'd say in Paris, it was then that Line Renaud conquered American audiences as well! Proof enough that one should always look at the bright side - and, with Line Renaud's music, one can do only that!
The most touching part of this documentary may well be the footage where we see Line with her mother and grandmother, together for the final time... The three women who survived the horrors of war together, smiling, reminded me a lot of my own family's matriarchy - and, having lost my father recently, I also found deeply touching the scenes in which Line's anguish is apparent, at Loulou's funeral... One can only
come to one conclusion: the kindhearted Line Renaud deserved to be spared any grief.
This great film about a greater than great lady is highly recommended.
And here, to conclude this update of TLB Prime on an equally moving note, is the godson's song I mentioned at the top; another classic tune en devenir...! Enjoy it!
Sunday, February 11, 2007
David Johnston and Kim Master told us, three years ago, which plastics are safe and which ones are not...
Basically, it goes like this:
1. Polyethylene terephthalate (PET or PETE) Used to make soft drink, water, sports drink, ketchup, and salad dressing bottles, and peanut butter, pickle, jelly and jam jars. GOOD: Not known to leach any chemicals that are suspected of causing cancer or disrupting hormones.HDPE though (the number two slot on the super seven billboard there) is deceivingly harmless and can turn into a ticking timebomb just waiting to explode in your face...! It has all to do with time indeed - water bottles have a limited shelf life, as it is, just like everything else that should be consummable really...! All of it should have an expiry date or, better yet, a "package on this date" marking. It will be up to the consumer to decide if he wants to "risk it" or not...! For, the longer that bottled water remains in its container of origin, the better are the chances that the plastic might start releasing toxins - producing in effect a chemical cocktail instead of safer water to drink! We've talked about this before, here and there; tap water has strict rules to ensure that it is consumable (which we can and really must strengthen by always BOILING the water before consuming it) while bottled water has no such rules to observe! We might as well be buying toilet water - how can we really tell the difference, eh? Add the hazard of buying a bottle of water that has spent way too much time on the damn store shelf, and we're getting close to something akin to near-suicide here...?!?
2. High density polyethylene (HDPE) Milk, water, and juice bottles, yogurt and margarine tubs, cereal box liners, and grocery, trash, and retail bags. GOOD: Not known to leach any chemicals that are suspected of causing cancer or disrupting hormones.
3. Polyvinyl chloride (V or PVC) Most cling-wrapped meats, cheeses, and other foods sold in delicatessens and groceries are wrapped in PVC. BAD: To soften into its flexible form, manufacturers add “plasticizers” during production. Traces of these chemicals can leach out of PVC when in contact with foods. According to the National Institutes of Health, di-2-ethylhexyl phthalate (DEHP), commonly found in PVC, is a suspected human carcinogen.
4. Low density polyethylene (LDPE) Some bread and frozen food bags and squeezable bottles. OK: Not known to leach any chemicals that are suspected of causing cancer or disrupting hormones, but not as widely recycled as #1 or #2.
5. Polypropylene (PP) Some ketchup bottles and yogurt and margarine tubs. OK: Hazardous during production, but not known to leach any chemicals that are suspected of causing cancer or disrupting hormones. Not as widely recycled as #1 and #2.
6. Polystyrene (PS) Foam insulation and also for hard applications (e.g. cups, some toys) BAD: Benzene (material used in production) is a known human carcinogen. Butadiene and styrene (the basic building block of the plastic) are suspected carcinogens. Energy intensive and poor recycling.
7. Other (usually polycarbonate) Baby bottles, microwave ovenware, eating utensils, plastic coating for metal cans BAD: Made with biphenyl-A, a chemical invented in the 1930s in search for synthetic estrogens. A hormone disruptor. Simulates the action of estrogen when tested in human breast cancer studies. Can leach into food as product ages.
I guess we all know what to do now... BOIL!
In other randomly-picked statistics - with a quirky luminous twist:
all 800,000,000 cells that comprise your skin complain as one under the plight of winter dryness and irritability...
Heed their call for help - MOISTURIZE!
And the one type of plastic that all of us L.O.V.s that visit the TLB Prime network with any kind of regularity should be recycling is the one that inkjet and laser cartridges are made out of!
The plastics used in inkjet cartridges can take over 10 centuries to decompose - did you know that?
(Not that I think that the planet will go through 10 more centuries of the, ah, "current administration" - that is human administration - or should I say man's administration, lest some may think that I infer the aliens are taking over soon... I believe GOD Is taking over soon - not E.T.! But I digress...)
Here is one stat that shall please Dubya & Cheney aka The Dick (hey - Trump is "The Don", so, logically... I know - digressing again...)
In just seven months, cartridge recycling can save over 11 million gallons of oil. This is more oil than what was tragically spilled by the Exxon Valdez in Alaska's Prince William Sound in 1989...
So, if you won't do it for the kids of 3000 A.D., do it for the oil, NOW!
Final bit of statistical data to throw at ya today: in North America, over 40,000 tonnes of plastic and metal is saved from landfills every year as a result of cartridge recycling...
We're doing our part - yay - tap yourselves on the back and open another six-pack...? NOT!
Thus, in conclusion, this week's lessons to put into dutiful luminous practice are: BOIL... MOISTURIZE... and RECYCLE (what a surprise...!)
It's good for you! ;)