Saturday, June 10, 2006
Of course, most of us will never get to wear a crown of any kind - most of us will only "flirt with royalty" when we are "sitting on the throne" (which is, by the way, the tasteful, distinguished, sardonic and refined way to refer to that most basic of needs - Benny boy! I hope you're reading this and taking notes; otherwise, your dismal numbers in terms of customerbase will only be getting worse and worse, as time goes by... For no one likes a brutish individual, whether he comes with a diploma or not! Hmm, "as time goes by" - that's another lyric from another unforgettable song! But I digress...)
Today's link, subservientchicken.com, does give one a little taste of what being a king is all about. It could not be any other way since this is an offering from the ever-generous Burger King himself - the one king willing to share with the commoner his lifestyle and alleged daily diet... We are talking of the one true BK here, of course, and note "rasslin's" version of it, Jerry "the King" Lawler, who is only referred to as "burger king" in derision by the fans because of his waistline... Not that the one true Burger King is such a saintly regal person, mind you - many kids still have nightmares due to their exposure to his OTHER site dedicated to the mind-reading prowess of one Darth Vader with whom BK seemed to have struck an unholy alliance with... Yes, THIS king is in cahoots with the dark side, kids (the dark side of the Force, yes, but also the dark side - period! Selling you those sandwiches and passing them for nutritious grub is simply not right... but I digress.)
Hmm... that whole alliance bit is but shades of the old feudal days, when royalty would strike unwise deals with dark lords and barbarians even, all in order to protect their kingdoms and, mostly, their own crowned heads! Oh, well - it must be the origin of the expression "a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do" - that *other* most inane of expressions that opens the door to almost all manners of behaviour and excuses for such misbehaving... I suppose that BK is making amends now, with his bird flu-free subservient sandwich filler here... And that in itself is quite laudable (I did say "laudable" - not "laughable" now!) and praise-worthy indeed! I mean, you don't see the killer clown, the crusty colonel or the little square nerdy girl without a conscience do anything of the sort to redeem themselves, do you now...? Think about that this week-end as you indulge once more in these fast-food guilty pleasures so favored in the warmer season...
I wonder if the Shadowy Group of groups that is meeting amid secrecy in Ottawa this week-end will go for fast food... mexican... chinese... or the gourmet caterer's choice, under extremely severe supervision, of course!
The choice is clear, gentlemen - as clear as the bill will be, dear berg!
Friday, June 09, 2006
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Thursday, June 08, 2006
Wait a sec - I think I can do just that! Found myself a video that is my veritable spitting image! Mon portrait tout craché - oui! Luminoso todo escarrado!!!
The rumors of the existence of a "chrono-visor" in the Vatican -a device that allows to peek through time; most notably into the future but certainly also to fondly glance back to the glorious past, hmm?- and the hush-hushness alleged to be surrounding such an object must all be true... Said device must also come with its own webcam I suppose - how else to explain this:
Yup - that's the way I used to do it back in the summer of '69! Indubitably! ;)
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Seems like expectant mothers -in the USA at least- did all that they could to avoid delivering their babies on the ominous date of triple six...
Good Christian gals, these All-American chicks - indeed!
Julie Haley, 33, of Reading, Mass., went into labour Monday. As of Tuesday afternoon, she still had not given birth.
"We were going to try to get it out before midnight or I was going to keep my legs closed," she said.
"I don't want her to have that stigma for the rest of her life. When she gets older, her friends would say that anything bad would be because of her birthdate."
Some friends those would be... Mrs. Haley though does have a point there; nowadays, those friends are the kind of "friends" that we are most likely to find in greater quantity... It does not surprise me one bit that a well-read lady hailing from Reading, Mass. (as opposed to, say... Hell, Mich.!) would be so wise - at the age of Christ to boot!
From Julie to Jill now - and another set of problems altogether...
Jill Haub, born June 6, 1966, celebrated her 40th birthday on Tuesday. She is a mother of two boys and teaches Grade 6 in Yukon, Okla.
"When I tell people my birthday, the ones who are really brave give me the look and say: 'That's scary!"' said Haub, a practising Christian.
"And I say: 'Actually, I have an extra six - born on 6-6-66 - so that's four sixes. I'm good, not evil."'
Hmm... someone else who turned 40 on 06/06/06 is that rascal from Ripon, Qc. - former Montreal Canadiens forward (and he ended his career with the Pittsburgh Penguins I do believe) Stéphane Richer. I mentioned my theory about Georges yesterday -yet again- and here I will make mere mention that I do have a theory about Stéphanes as well... But I digress! Richer may have played for the formerly-known as "flying Frenchmen" - but Richer himself would oftentimes be labeled the "stuttering sniper" instead... He did collect 50 goals one year, the year that the Boston Bruins ousted the Canadiens in five games in the playoffs for the first time in a long time. I remember it as if it were yesterday... Richer was called many things, hence - but never "evil". If they didn't dare do it for the Ripon ripper, I doubt that they would really dare to call Miss Haub here that sort of thing either...
In other "odd news headlines" related to either 06/06/06 and/or Michigan... one attracted my attention in particular: "Police locate and may charge man who released 1.2-metre alligator in Michigan"
They "may" charge him? They "may?!? This man sure seems evil to me, as he "tried to kill the alligator with a HAMMER - but the animal survived". And this man likely doesn't even have a single "6" in his birthdate! Had this man been creative one iota, he might have told police that he released the gator on 06/06/06 because Wally there had expressed his desire to go to Hell too... Hell, Michigan being much closer than the Everglades to... er, crawl to?
But noooo - instead, this sadistic dumba$$ purpotedly only said that "he was looking for a place to get rid of it, but he couldn't get anyone to take it"
So then the cruel animal-hater tried to hammer "it" to oblivion - that didn't work, and the animal (likely with a huge headache) found enough intestinal fortitude to crawl to a pond in a park nearby... And the police -as unsure as they are whether charges should be made against this jerk or not- turned the alligator over to Mason County animal control officers. Hopefully the latter breed of officers is not as clueless as the former... "Police Chief Mark Barnett said (the man) may face animal cruelty charges. The case was forwarded to prosecutors for review, he said."
Hmm... Mark and crew there seem to be at the beck and call of their local prosecutors there - they must be clueless without them indeed! So much for Mark's remarks and their value, theretofore...
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
So long - suckas!
Actual road sign in Michigan - Hell is also found in the Cayman Islands, in an execrable co-worker/boss and in your very own house, if you don't pay attention to who you're letting into the family...
Word to the wise...! ;)
I imagine that a whole lot of "greatest hits" of acts such as Rob Zombie and AC/DC were played out extremely and excessively loud today across the hellish land - after all these things don't come by all that frequently. Early-risers even got 06:06:06AM when they got up and 06:06:06PM when they came back from work on 06/06/06 - double if not triple vision hence! Although I must precise that those are not the types I envisioned taking to the road while listening to Rob Zombie's "Dragula" or "Never Gonna Stop" (what - being a freak AND a pain? Okay... be that way, Rob!)
I see these thirteen dastardly fellows on motorcycles that started a trek on bikes from Milwaukee to the small town named Hell in Michigan as perfect specimens to be shaking their heads to the rhythm of Rob Zombie's rhapsodies as they go along...
"Event organizer Joe Dowd, 56, of Mequon, said there is nothing satanic about the third motorcycle trek he's organized that ends up in the small town near Ann Arbor.
Most of the participants are from the Milwaukee area, but some are from Michigan, Illinois and Texas, Dowd said. They include eight men and five women ranging in age from their 30s to a man in his 70s."
"We originally planned on taking the last ferry of the year across Lake Michigan and call this year's event Hell Freezes Over," he said. "But when I saw 6-6-06 on the calendar, I said, 'We've got to go to Hell then.' It won't come again for another (hundred) years. Everybody's loving it." (I'm sure...)
Dowd, who grew up in Michigan, said he circulated e-mails suggesting a motorcycle trip to Hell two years ago, and about a half dozen friends took him up on it. About 30 took part in 2005. This year, they're a dozen - plus one.
The first trip was called "To Hell and Back", the second "We Went Through Hell to Get Here", and this year's trip is "Straight to Hell".
Hmm... I am secretly hoping that a bunch of individuals I know personally do make plans for just such a journey and I would be the one to get to name it - I would then call it the "Go To Hell And Don't Come Back" trek! Cool, eh? Go along with it, will you? They sure do deserve it...
Of those late additions to that list of doomed souls on the road to nowhere are, as I pointed out yesterday, my Greek bank manager. Not because he's Greek - hades, no! Not because he's a banker per say - gehenna, no! Not because he's a manager who barely manages even - sheol, no!!! He deserves to go to hell and never return solely because the incompetent oaf had the gall to tell me that that certain document which the bank forced me to order would not suffice - when it does! A man entrusted with ALL OF OUR COLLECTIVE SAVINGS should be better informed of things like that - don't you think? He is both expendable AND execrable!
Likewise, legendary concert-promoter Donald K Donald - let HIM go on the road now! On a tour - of "non retour"! The man made millions promoting concerts - he KNOWS or has the knack to make some moolah. It is not a talent per say; especially when one looks at it as the cypher that he really is, siphoning other's talents and making his dough on their backs! He's a bigger leech than Ed Sullivan ever was! Bigger in the corporeal sense too... but I digress! DKD here had the gall to say to me that he had NO CLUE how my songstress cousin could make any money singing her fado style of music in today's market... HE who has the KNACK to make money HAD NO CLUE HOW... Right. "A niche is not profitable; it can only be an artistic venture then..." he added. RIGHT. And then this marketing genius spoke of our "culture of entitlement" and how Napster had been begging the recording industry to make a deal with them - and that Napster is under control now. Reality check time, genius: mp3 file sharing is WORSE and far more out of control than any Napsters could ever be. And a niche is a GOOD THING to have. No one needs to make 400 million a year, like your personal faves (René Angélil and Céline Dion) do - all one needs is to make enough to get by and to have the satisfaction of having put one's art "out there"... DKD, to his credit, did admit that "indies are where the true art is" - duh! To hell with you, DKD - tis too little, far too late!
I'm sure they'll have golf courses for fatsos such as you down there...
Now, back (up) to the OTHER HELL... "Hell, Michigan, a tiny town about 60 miles west of Detroit, threw itself open for a once-in-a-millennium party to mark the passage of June 6, 2006 -- or 6-6-6, a number long associated with the Antichrist. You don't say...
Home to only about 70 souls on an average day, Hell's population swelled to the hundreds by Tuesday afternoon, with dozens waiting in line to buy T-shirts emblazoned with "666."
"We can't even keep those in stock," said Chad Wines, an employee at Screams Ice Cream, working to keep up with demand for souvenirs and ice cream on what proved to be a hot day in Hell. Wow - one has to applaud the entrepreneurial spirit of some (hmm... what are they, in Michigan? Yanks or Rednecks?!? Neither? I'd say a little bit of both...) - "Screams Ice Cream" - such a "way cool" concept for a tiny town of only seventy souls... Tis a good thing tourists will come! I guess that, in this case, it is not "build it and they will come" it is really "name it originally and they will come" - and that begins with the town's name itself.
There are two main stories surrounding the origin of the name of Michigan's Hell town... According to the town's semiofficial Web site, there are two leading theories about how Hell got its name.
The first holds that a pair of German travelers stepped out of a stagecoach one sunny afternoon in the 1830s, and one said to the other, "So schoene hell" — roughly translated as, "So bright and beautiful." Their comments were overheard by some locals and the name stuck.
The second holds that George Reeves was asked after Michigan gained statehood what he thought the town he helped settle should be called, and reportedly replied, "I don't care, you can name it Hell if you want to." The name became official on Oct. 13, 1841. Hmm... George Reeves? Not THE George Reeves - is it? Superman is reputed to be able to do it ALL - a one-man Justice League he is, who makes ALL the other members obsolete (with the exception of, oddly enough, the non-powered yet "Über" Bat-Man... Yeah, that is another sordid and inexplicable story!) hence, surely, Superman could travel backwards in time just to found a town named Hell... That makes sense, hmm? Hell... that would just be too conveeee-nient too - Superman's big "S" on his chest easily filling in for Satan and my theory about Georges finding confirmation and all here... In historical truth - as far away as we should place ourselves from dime-story fictional drivel involving "über-bats" and stupormen - this George Reeves must have been nothing more extraordinary than a member in good standing of the Freemasons - just like George Washington was! Ah, yes - hurray for my twists and turns! ;)
On Tuesday though, of all the visitors (which included "devils-in-disguise, hearse enthusiasts, Christian protesters and -also- merchants trying to cash in on the apocalypse" - of course) none cared too much to know how or why the town got the name that it bears now. For they wouldn't have even BEEN there if it bore any other name!
The Christian protesters were there to remind folks that Hell is real - and that eternal damnation is not a joke. I pity the Reuters reporter/copywriter (Rebecca Cook) who thought it would be cute and amusing to further mock the whole concept by ending her article on the subject with this line: "Paradise, after all, is only a day's drive away -- less than 300 miles north in Michigan's Upper Peninsula."
Paradise - the Genuine Thing - will be much harder to access for thee, I'd say! And if you can't stand the heat, it is just too bad - for there is no getting out of the kitchen that you seem poised and ready to enter! And too many cooks have already spoiled this particular broth...
Monday, June 05, 2006
Hence, I dare more on Mondays - and today, get ready Bush supporters, for I endorse here and now the much-maligned (I'm sure), much controversial and much... supported actually "THEORY" that has Dubya being nothing more than a Führer copy-cat!
He did say once "it is okay to have a dictator as long as the dictator is me" (I paraphrase) - did he not? George wants to be Adolf! All he needs is to grow the tiny mustache, à la Chaplin if he wants to... it will do.
Ah - to hell with the both of you!
And I don't just say that because I need some scapegoats either...
I also don't just say that (type that, to be exact, I know) to make a cute little pun that alludes to the "big party" they are planning for tomorrow down in Michigan... HELL, MICHIGAN to be specific.
There actually are several places named after the execrable Adversary's abode - all over the world - both towns and establishments - but the one I've in mind is "in the unincorporated hamlet 60 miles west of Detroit" - dig?
Find it on the net: http://www.hell2u.com/
Sorry if it is not a workable link; I feel not like easing the path to "down there" by posting a live link - plus, I'm down on Mondays, remember?
Let Mondays equal to you, dear L.O.V.s, "copy and paste day".
Truth be told for the umpteenth time, Mondays equal to me all manners of nasty things as it is...
I'll blog soon about today's dismal events -or "un-events" as they are- in atypical web journal fashion for I use "blog technology" -or outlets really- as entertaining, philosophically-rich and soul-enriching forays into literary sardonic wit!
I'll blog about the Greek banker and DKD (no acronym for "dekadent" at all - correct spelling is "decadent" anyway - Canadian L.O.V.s will recognize the initials as those of concert promoting extraordinaire Donald K. Donald! Yeah - a legend in his field he is. And another fat ass hypocrite he is too! More on that... later this week!)
Aye - "code and paste day" for you guys today - and run-of-the-mill lousy Monday for me - yay! AND, since we recently had "repeat day" - I think I can make an exception here and re-post the same item within the same post - again! After all, the lessons of history bear repeating indeed; lest we repeat the same mistakes over and over again indeed! Oops - did I repeat "indeed" back there? Aw - does anybody really care whether I did or not? Hmm?
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Clotilde, future reine des Francs, naquit à Lyon vers 470. Son souvenir, dans notre histoire nationale, demeure attaché à un double évènement : la bataille de Tolbiac et le baptême de Clovis. La tradition rapporte que Clovis, ayant invoqué en vain ses dieux païens, en appela au Dieu de Clotilde quand ses soldats luttaient contre les Alamans. Ayant vaincu, le roi des Francs décida de se convertir.
The future queen of the Francs was born circa 470, in Lyon, near Paris. Her historical significance is particularly important as she was the catalyst to make all of France a Christian kingdom, as he pagan husband turned to the Christian God in desperation when he was losing against a rival nation. Clovis' pagan gods were no help at all - but when victory was obtained after he turned to his wife's God, Clovis converted to Christianism too.
Fille de Chilpéric, roi des Burgondes, Clotilde est élevée à Genève. Bien que chrétienne, elle est demandée en mariage par le jeune Clovis qui est païen. On assure que ce fut, en cette période de barbarie, un mariage d'amour, plein de tendresse et de respect mutuel. Clovis autorisa le baptême de leurs enfants, puis se convertit à la foi chrétienne, recevant le Baptême à Noël 496 à Reims, des mains de l'évêque saint Rémi. Ainsi le mariage de Clovis et de Clotilde et l'influence conjuguée de la jeune reine et de l'évêque sur le catéchumène (candidat au baptême) ont marqué l'entrée du peuple des Francs dans la religion du Christ.
Clotilde was the king of Burgundy's daughter and had been brought up in Geneva. It was known to all that she was a Christian when the young pagan Clovis asked her hand in marriage. History seems to indicate that it was not a barbaric ravishing but truly a loving union, rife wih tenderness and mutual respect. For Clovis authorized the baptism of his children, as his wife wished, and soon converted himself, being baptized for his part in Christmas 496, at Reims, before the saintly bishop St. Rémi himself. Hence, the union of Clovis and Clotilde and the combined influence of his wife and the bishop upon the catechumen's reign (a catechumen being a candidate for baptism) effectively eased the entrance of the whole Francs nation into Christ's religion.
Le bonheur de Clotilde ne sera pas un conte de fées. Sa vie est traversée d'épreuves redoutables. Elle devient veuve à moins de quarante ans. Elle aura la douleur de voir mourir son fils Clodomir de manière abominable, puis de voir deux autres fils, Clotaire et Childebert, égorger les enfants de leur frère. Blessée pour toujours dans son cœur de mère, la reine Clotilde s'enfuit de la Cour et se retire dans la ville de Tours, pour trouver réconfort et paix près du tombeau du saint Martin. Enfouie dans la prière et le silence, soucieuse avant tout de rencontrer le Christ dans l'humilité, elle retourne à son Seigneur le 3 juin 545. Des reliques de la sainte reine sont conservées à Paris, dans la basilique qui porte son nom. Clotilde fut inhumée d'abord auprès de Clovis son époux dans une église située au lieu de l'actuel Panthéon.
Clotilde's happiness will not be a storybook fairytale henceforth. Her life would in fact be rife with trying moments and tearful separations. She would become a widow when she had not even reached forty years of age. She will go through the pain of witnessing the death of her son Clodomir, in horrible fashion... She will then be even more horrified to see her other two sons, Clotaire and Childebert, slaughter Clodomir's children. It is with much pain in her heart that queen Clotilde flees the Court and seeks refuge in the city of Tours, seeking solace and peace primarily in prayer and silence, near the tomb of another saint, St. Martin. It is in such a contemplative state that she goes back to her Lord on June the 3rd, 545. Her remains are now preserved in Paris, inside the basilica which bears her name. The saintly queen had originally been buried next to her husband in a church located where the current Pantheon is to be found nowadays.
Clotilde est un nom d'origine germanique qui signifie "gloire" (hrod) et "combat" (hild).
Clotilde (or Clothilde) is a name of germanic origin which means "glory" (hrod) and "combat" (hild).
Original French text written by: Frère Bernard Pineau email@example.com
Translation by: luminous me!
Marthe Robin - from 1930 to 1981, she was given to have stygmata on her person. She had become handicapped at an early age and, from her 25th birthday until her death in 1981, she had become a living symbol of Christ among us. And yet - despite all the evidence that this woman is, without a doubt, as saintly as any saint can possibly have been in all of mankind's history - her case is still being studied and canonization is still not official... More on her story is found here