Forget About That Corny Corner-Ribbon's Drivel! The Real Secret is HERE Indeed - not over there!

Saturday, July 30, 2005

some guys just cannot catch a break...

Take for instance Toronto Turds... I mean, guys, of course... *ahem*... And yes; this is the perfect scandalous subject to broach on a saturday too! A convergence of bad karma too...
Thus, these Torontonians try that famous blue pill to give themselves "an edge" - and it may cause them to go blind for all their trouble. (Which, ironically, proves that age old wisdom is always right... eventually. Onanism was supposed to make one go blind - so said old-timers anyway. Not true. But modern pharmacology would invent something that would... uh... "assist" both onanism as, primarily, copulation - and the end result might well be what the old-timers had foreseen...! Uncanny! Maybe it is their curse coming to fruition...? But that would be another story...).
In T.O. though, taking the blue pill is just the BEGINNING of one's problems... for, with a pill of any sort, what is more natural than a cup of water - to help in swallowing the darn little pesky thing, eh? Alas, water in Toronto these days might also come with an undesired aftertaste - tainted water that might bring them lasting kidney problems and high blood pressure on top of the blindness!!!
Geewhiz... when it rains, it pours... eh?

Friday, July 29, 2005

dubya - lord and master of time as well...

It was to be expected... soon after crowning himself king of the oil reserves and practically self-proclaimed leader of the free world, our man Dubya had to look towards something far more intangible to swoop down upon and assert his uncontested mastery of... The war on terror is thus logically followed up on by the manipulation of time itself - wow; what could come next? Anything more abstract than this double "t" connection? Dubya - rightful owner of the air we breathe! Tax that, George! Dubya - waging war soon on heckling (he is often enough the target, so...) and righteous anger (when aimed at him especially)... Yes - I can see it now... The madness of THIS King George knows no bounds... He is the modern master of Jingoism though - I'll give him that much! ;)
The US wants to extend daylight time. How do you feel?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

It's ridiculous!
It's a great idea
It could be good in some situations
Who cares?

Results: 34% say that it is ridiculous... but 29% think it is a great idea! Must be the people who elected him...

Thursday, July 28, 2005

thursday thunder - or going out with a whimper... for the dream is over

When even the combined efforts (and moolah) of E.T.'s daddy, a Disney executive and a music billionaire fail to make a dream come true (really, REALLY come true that is... because, obviously, they could get the wheels rolling on just about any project of theirs - but success is never guaranteed.) - what hope is there for the rest of us?!? DreamWorks SKG never saw its, er, dream (!) of officially entering the same league as a Warner Bros or Paramount Pictures really pan out - and now, they could simply be bought out by NBC Universal. The three rich amigos will not suffer too much from this mini-debacle (E.T.'s daddy though should be seriously wondering if he has indeed lost his "magic touch" - everything he touches does not turn to gold anymore and has not, in fact, for a long time now...). However, the smaller people involved - the creative artisans who worked for DreamWorks SKG and strived to make it a huge success (and, for a fleeting moment or two or three, found it too - with Shrek, American Beauty and Gladiator) - surely they will be affected by having to, basically, start over somewhere else; and all that building work being, sensibly, for naught. Such are the ephemeral triumphs of Tinseltown - only in the sports world are you worse off, and "only as good as your latest hit"... or goal, or basket... or touchdown...!
Hope can be routinely crushed, of course, but it still springs eternal - somehow...! No one had more disappointments than Napoléon - and yet "No obstacles fell in his way that seemed to him insurmountable. He might be defeated, as he sometimes was, but he shrank from no hardship through impatience, he fled from no danger through cowardice." (J.P. Morgan writing about Napoléon Bonaparte - yes, THAT J.P. Morgan; another rich boy...! Another pattern emerges, I know...!). Imagine how one can indeed avoid "being crushed" after a momentous disappointment - through faith! No matter what you do - with God, hopes and dreams do come true!
And you don't have to bother with wishing upon a star either...!

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

wednesday weirdness version 11.0

Nothing weirder than the cruelty of the wild (because it is hard for us, humans, to see the Order in all that Chaos; we do not see it in our own "civilized chaos", so...) - and today we will learn of one particularly bizarre eco-tragico-twist; one of the worst ever to occur anywhere... at any time. Again, man's hand in this can be traced back as the origin of the problem - of course. What a surprise, hmm? If anyone reading this travels to the South Atlantic area - stop by the Gough Island... and do not forget to bring RAT TRAPS (you may also bring your cats - but don't leave them there now! That would only be replacing one problem with another...).
More creatures of all shapes and sizes now, in this decidedly special installment of weirdness wednesday; the cretinous critters edition!
Seen "The Village" yet? A village in Croatia must be feeling like it is the one the movie might be about - after a Croatian Cow killed her owner... A form of protest, was it...? The bovine creature meant it when she mooed and looked at him with that look in her eyes that said "don't touch my mammaries to milk me dry today, old man, or I'll sit on you!" - and she did.
The next study-case is one of the strangest animals of all - the Texan. The male of the species, of course. This one -astonishingly enough- is even dumber than Dubya! One will be led to believe that Texas has a triple crown of sorts then - the biggest state... the fattest... and the dumbest! Hmm...
Next - a creature similar enough to the meat and potato eating Texan; only smarter and... hairier (because of the winter!) - yes, I do mean the Sasquatch! Face it, folks; he simply has to be a whole lot smarter than most of you give him credit for - because he has eluded us all for so long! To the point that we are still not sure if he exists or not! Hmm... that would be what another critter has managed to accomplish too - the Devil! Could they be one and the same? The Truth is out there... (yes - a tired old x-phile reference! I know - we are in the CSI era now; it is mentioned too in the sasquatch report! Really! Look for yourself!).
And, finally, the noisiest and most annoying critters of all - brats! See how they handle them now in the wild outback - aka oz - aka Australia! Yep - they had it coming... fear not, though, dingos and tasmanian devils are not employed!
ALL and I do mean ALL the details are - in the luminous cornucopia of comments (and evidently much more) section!

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

two for tuesday; double trouble

You may say that BOTH Mickey and Malcolm are in the middle of... trouble - of the best kind though! Here's to Miss Eve... and the future Mrs. Muniz!

So very tempted to title this one ''BANG BANG'' too... for obvious reasons, I think?





















Rourke romance - BANG - June 15, 2005
(BANG) - Mickey Rourke is romancing stunning model Eve Salvail.
The Hollywood actor, whose looks have been ravaged by a brief boxing career and botched plastic surgery, was spotted canoodling with the sexy star at Wilhelmina models president Sean Patterson's birthday bash last week.
According to reports, the 'Sin City' star and Salvail, who is known for her shaven head which is adorned with a dragon tattoo, were all over each other.
Recently, Rourke admitted he once tried to commit suicide - but was saved at the eleventh hour by a priest.
The troubled actor, who at one time ruined his career through self-destructive behaviour, says he was close to shooting himself when he went to confession and asked for God's approval of his sinister plan.
Fortunately, the priest counselled Mickey out of his depression and helped him come to terms with his life.
Rourke revealed: "I would've blown my brains out, but I'm Catholic. I asked a priest if I could go ahead. He talked me out of it and we started meeting. Father Pete put me back on the right track."
&EngCP; BANG Media International


===========================================

'Malcolm' to marry - BANG - July 21, 2005
(BANG) - 'Malcolm in the Middle' star Frankie Muniz has got engaged.
The 19-year-old actor, who plays child genius Malcolm in the hit TV series, is set to wed his girlfriend, known only as Jamie, according to America's People magazine.
The teen star's spokesperson, Cara Tripicchio, claims the smitten couple are yet to set a wedding date.
Frankie, who also starred in kids' movie 'Agent Cody Banks', met Jamie earlier this year in her hometown of New Orleans, where he was shooting horror film 'Stay Alive'.
He recently confessed that making the scary movie - which tells the story of a group of friends who discover that if their computer game character dies, so do they - was one of the most enjoyable jobs he's ever had.
Frankie told MTV: "Doing this movie was probably my favourite experience I've ever had filming. The entire cast was so close and every night we'd go out to dinner and just have a good time."
Although Frankie's publicist is remaining tight-lipped about Jamie's surname or age, the couple were not afraid to hide their love for each other when they walked the red carpet at the recent US premiere of Johnny Depp's new film, 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory'.
The Canadian Press BANG Media International

Monday, July 25, 2005

a police blunder...? should brazil buy that?!?

I don't want to wind up erroneously shot like that Brazilian in London now...
So I think I will have to restrain from travelling now - hmm? Seems like if you LOOK just a tad different nowadays - that is suspect! Woe to you if you happen to have very nearly become one of the numbers - one of the nameless casualties in the latest terrorist attack where you happened to be - in the wrong place at the wrong time...! You survive that - and you look distinctive - chances are, it seems, that you may very well end up SHOT BY THE POLICE now...!!!
In my estimation, Brazil's recent anti-USA stance of a few months now has all the ammo it needs to go the same route on Uncle Sam's best pal, Union Jack! And, quite frankly, I am tempted to say as well it should be too! Brazil has more intestinal fortitude in what's left of their rainforest than Canada has in its frozen wasteland most of the year!
I was watching on cable, just tonight and in lieu of that sickening time-wasting so-called spectacle called wrestling - something similar incidentally... a mixed martial arts mini-tournament opposing the USA to - Canada! And in the lone match-up that ended up in favor of Canada (when all was said and done, the US had won four out of five) - the belligerents' names resonated more in my imagination than the actual "action" (jiu-jitsu is simply NOT a spectator sport...). The American, Santore, had been pummeled and defeated by the Canadian, a rugged Kane (the wrestler) lookalike named... Doerkesen. Beyond the fact that, once again, Canada showed no spine and accepted losing the event (even though they won the main event rather decisively - each judge scored it 30 to 27 in favor of... Doerkesen) - even taking part in a post-event mass embrace, where the defeated Canadians had not only to shake hands with those who had trounced them good a mere hour or so prior to that - but they had to hug them and give them a gold medal too! In turn, of course, their victors gave them a silver medal - and a lot of pain! ('Cause this was real, folks - this wasn't pro-wrestling... or, pardon me, "pro rasslin"...!).
Anyhow... beyond all that, the names of the main event belligerents stood out for me. The names and the end result. The lone American to lose was named Santore. And he lost to Mr. Doerkesen. A Santo (saint) losing to a... dork? Maybe too easy to say for some - but it sums up nicely what goes worldwide on a daily basis.
Modern-day "saints" (as saintly as anyone can be these days) lose... and die... at the hands of dorks who are "just doing their jobs" (what Doerkesen said, ironically, just before stepping into the squared circle - he was going to just do his job in there - win ONE for Canada) - and so can the policemen who clumsily killed an innocent claim now (never to be among Scotland Yard's Finest - I hope... lest they are wanting to be less Sherlock Holmeses - and more Jacques Clouseaus...).

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Statistics Sundays 7 - 11...

Since we are, after all, on the day of the Lord - and in light of recent events (including some I did not mention on the blog; the passing of Scotty - James Doohan... of Jim Aparo, legendary DC Comics artist who drew the likes of Aquaman, Phantom Stranger, Deadman, The Outsiders and Batman like no other... of yet another wrestler who surtaxed his body to keep up with the infernal pace of the competitive world of pro-wrestling; former WCW, ECW, WWE and NWA TNA star Chris Candido... and certainly the passing of my friend, Sisi Austin...) I feel like saying a prayer... a great one was recently forwarded to me, so I pass it on to you, my readers, here and now - after a few statistics of course...

Publishing History FACTS...
Part of the Bible was published for the first time in 1988.

The complete Bible has not been published.

HOPE YOU LIKE THIS NOW...

Q: What is the shortest chapter in the Bible?
A: Psalm 117

Q: What is the longest chapter in the Bible?
A: Psalm 119

Q: Which chapter is in the center of the Bible?
A: Psalm 118

Fact: There are 594 chapters before Psalm 118
Fact: There are 594 chapters after Psalm 118
Add these numbers up and you get 1188.

Q: What is the center verse in the Bible?
A: Psalm 118:8

Q: Does this verse say something significant about God's perfect will for our lives?

The next time someone says they would like to find God's perfect will for their lives and that they want to be in the center of His will, just send them to the center of His Word!

Psalms 118:8
"It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man."Now isn't that odd how this worked out (or was God in the center of it)?

Before sending this I said a prayer for you. Got a minute? 60 seconds for God? All you do is say a small prayer for the person who sent you this...

"Father God bless my friend in whatever it is that you know he/she may be needing this day! And may his/her life be full of your peace, prosperity and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with You. Amen"

When things get tough, always remember...
Faith doesn't get you around trouble, it gets you through it!

God Bless You

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