Forget About That Corny Corner-Ribbon's Drivel! The Real Secret is HERE Indeed - not over there!

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Well, well, well... After JKR, DB is alleged to have lifted his masterpiece... What a surprise...!!!

Originality is a thing of the past, my dear fellow dream weavers and avid readers alike - a thing of the DISTANT PAST... So it would seem anyway... look all around thee! Hollywood has long given up on trying to be original - they adapt and adapt and adapt again... and when that fails, they parody while pretending to be adapting yet again! They dream of a major hit that way - and are not detracted by the failures piling up ("Car 54, Where Are You?" - "The Saint" - "The Avengers" all come to mind... and there are plenty more examples to cite; but why bother, eh?).
After all there ARE plenty more TV shows to adapt out there - even if the movie versions are cheap parodies that have not an ounce of respect for the source material (distorting it, in an-all-bent-out-of-shape kind of way...!) - they go with it, truly believing that is all that it deserves, and hoping that it will catch on with the public - sort of like a disease would. "The Dukes of Hazzard", presently in theatres (but not for long) is a glaring example of that nasty attitude - original cast member Tom Wopat called fans to boycott it. And, indeed, they should - whoever it is that thought that Jessica Simpson was an appropriate replacement for Catherine Bach should be shot and run over twenty times by General Lee! I would rather have seen Lisa or Marge Simpson instead of Jessica myself...!!!
All this to say... (yes - the preceding was merely the intro to the point I am making here today - read on!) there truly is no originality around anymore - in whatever field it is that you are analyzing thoroughly! Sure, new technologies give an aura of originality - new territory being explored, on the surface... but, deep down, the same thing that has been done to death is being done yet again... and usually that includes the same mistakes being repeated too! But that is another story indeed...!
Hollywood will continue to exploit name-brand recognition - whether it is through blatant TV lore scavenging, milking for all it is worth the fond memories yuppies and babyboomers have of those auld TV shows they used to adore... And, when that doesn't work, there are properties to explore in other mediums as well, of course... Comic-books, children's books, pulp magazines and... literature of course! Adapting a novel to the big screen is the crowning achievement for any author - ask J.K Rowling what an impact it has on book sales! And pretty soon, Mr. Brown will experience that too - no, not the Reservoir Dogs Mr. Brown...! A Reservoir Dog's Memoirs might sell though - but not as much as Harry Potter and Da Vinci Code ...! (Again, NO - they are not teaming up on some very odd crossover book...!!!). However... Miss Rowling and Mr. Brown might do well to team up - their creative processes of conjuring up books appear to be... ironically quite similar indeed! What were the odds of that now... hmm? (Synchronicity again... Countess? Becky? Paulie? Anyone...?!?). For, now, the truth comes out (even though a judge debunked it all - we know better, people!) and yes - just as JKR "inspired" herself of another's writing, so has unquestionably Dan Brown done in order to concoct his alleged "masterpiece" - and why not, hmm? As I keep repeating - THERE IS NO ORIGINALITY LEFT ON THIS PLANET ANYMORE! Our world is a realm of unoriginality and mimickery - for all that had to be written and created already has been written and created! These two huge (monster?) successes are no better than Mary Shelley's Frankenstein - who was, after all, by her own admission too, nothing more than the MODERN PROMETHEUS! At least she gave the nod to what had in effect inspired her - and she was effectively ripping off as well! Likewise, I look towards the old-timers - the ancient scribes - for MY inspiration as well...! The Greek scribe named LUCIAN is a favorite - I wonder why now... (*LOL*). Now THAT has got to be synchronicity, people - indubitably! But I digress...
Miss Rowling and Mr Brown, for all their ways with words, have made a basic sinful mistake - that of looking towards their contemporary peers for "inspiration" - and that is a definite no-no according to copyright law and all... Still, they got away with it, so... all is well and ends well in LiteratiWonderland...! :)




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Friday, August 05, 2005

seeing... orange?

But ORANGE IS A GREAT COLOR!
There are those who will not agree, apparently...
In Israël, to be specific...

Orange, to me though, is a color for all seasons - summer (nothing better than a tall glass of cold o.j. in the morning - hmm?)... autumn (pumpkin pie anyone? As long as there's tons of cinnamon in it - I'm in!)... spring (uh... more o.j. please!)... and winter too (that is when we REALLY NEED THE O.J. in these sorry parts here, north of the 49th parallel!). And, of course, orange is a great color to wear as well - the ladies look great in orange bikinis - I personally like to wear orange polo shirts too! My favorite super-hero wore an orange "shirt" - aquaman! (True - with a name like that, his predestined color was to be... another altogether! But we are talking about the four-color dimension here; aka sequential art; aka comic-books! Nothing is truly logical in those things... but that is, indeed, another story entirely! Still - it is as good a reason as any other to quote from this fine source a friend e-mailed me the other day; "Throw the radio up high / Watch us drown out half the sky ~~ Synaesthesia coloured blue / Aquaman knows what to do"...! How... amusing!). Orange, of course, has replaced the traditional stripes (pinstripes? Damn yanks!) of prisoner uniforms - it makes for less glum days in incarceration for some, I'm sure... AND, orange "has traditionally been the colour of Gush Katif, the major Gaza settlement bloc" - and is thus a very taboo color now in Israël because of that. A friend of mine with a certain sense of fashion has traveled to Israël recently - is, in fact, there right now! I am absolutely sure that her engineer husband has advised her not to bring ANYTHING orange there... Hope she listened to him... she sure never listened to her luminous buddy here - me! But that too is another story...!!!

Thursday, August 04, 2005

two for thursday; double demises - R.I.P.

Mortality is for everyone; even the so-called "stars" of the silver screen. Those thespians that never were perceived as actual "star" material but that I have recognized and appreciated over the years are as missed by this luminous blogger than any of the bigger names that have departed - and have never been replaced (the Audrey Hepburns, Oliver Reeds, Leo McKerns, Sharon Tates, Jonathan Harris-es, Lee Remicks, Gregory Pecks, William Holdens, Katherine Hepburns, Anne Baxters, Jack Lemmons, Walter Matthaus and such stalwarts of this world...). Kevin Hagen was one of those actors that got immediately type-casted because of his physique into playing bad guys - totally despicable characters he would forced to impersonate movie after movie (often westerns too). And then, someone gave him a chance - on Little House on the Prairie, a TV show I grew up watching and the first exposure to Mr. Hagen's work I ever had, he was allowed to be a kind, gentle man - allowed to let his soul shine through the often-perceived as rugged exterior he had. The same is true, on that show, of Victor French; another one I grew up with and grew to admire as an uncle I would have loved to have - I have not seen Mr. French anywhere since Highway to Heaven - I hope he is still with us.
Mrs. Gretchen Franklin, a veteran actress I knew not, also passed away as Mr. Hagen did - an ocean away I believe. She was most well-known for her role on the British soap EastEnders, in which she played a cancer-stricken lady. Mr. Kevin Hagen had to battle cancer in real life - it is no wonder that he died while seventeen years younger than her.
Both are, again, as all the bigger names that I mentioned before, irreplaceable.
And both will be greatly missed by those who knew them - from afar as from up close.

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Wednesday, August 03, 2005

special edition of weirdness wednesday

I was going to take this week off blogging altogether, to participate in an umpteenth high-brow, elitist, nerve-racking and, ultimately, unrewarding writing contest... Yeah - one of those!
I decided not to... Why should I bother? I will run out of time - and time is of the essence, as always, and it sure is time-consuming as well to make sure that we have complied with every single tiny and infinitesimal requirement that they will impose upon every entrant... One single faux pas and it is NO PRIZE FOR YOU... sayeth the literary-saavy contest judge nazi...?!? Heck - complete utter disqualification awaits anyone who strays from "da rules" - carved in stone, are they? I thought they had invented the pen already...? Oh well - my mistake - carry on carving! ;)
Suffice it to say - sarcastically or not - I have had my fill of contests!
I tried enough of them to be fed up... There are two I did NOT try though; the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest in particular... Where one can calmly writes whatever comes out and NOT worry about even such fundamentals as spellchecks - not doing them might actually contribute in your WINNING THE DAMN THING! Of course you do NOT want to win this one, as it is the biggest of its kind - and such contests are truly awarding the title of "Worst Writing of the Year"... Instead of an honor, it is a rather comical (dis)honor indeed...! One not to be taken too seriously, however, as one such lucky recipient of the title said that now he would be deemed totally unreliable - for he has a doctorate in English literature! Great career boost he got there... hmm? At least these public humiliations are rewarded with money - yes, cheques are issued to the ludicrous winners! It pays to be a wretched writer - it does not pay to dispense pearls of wisdom (and, admittedly, sarcastic witticisms aplenty as well) on a regular basis in a "luminous blog" though... otherwise, was my cheque LOST in the mail...?
What I always said - it doesn't pay to tell the truth... it's not what you know, it's who you know... there is no justice in this world... the whole shebang! And the goût du jour will always turn sour - and rarely appear to taste good toujours! ;)
That goes for legit contest winners... farcical contests "rewarding writers with talent but poor taste"... and maybe even vanity contests - although we know they only just want to sell you something with their promises of publications, don't we now?

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

two for tuesdays; you gotta keep them separated

A DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE IS MORE FEARFUL OF NOT GETTING ALONG WITH JEN THAN LARA CROFT APPEARS TO BE...
Aniston: Housewife's panic - BANG - June 06, 2005
(BANG) - Eva Longoria is panicking about bumping into Jennifer Aniston.
Eva's fears come after she jokingly donned a T-shirt donning the slogan 'I'll have your baby Brad' - a reference to Jen's ex, Brad Pitt.
The 'Desperate Housewives' star told Britain's Elle magazine: "I had no idea it would cause a fuss like that.
"I bought it because I thought it was funny.
"Now I'm terrified I'm going to bump into Jennifer Aniston and she's going to think I did it for real. That's so embarrassing. I love Jennifer."
Meanwhile, the Latin lovely has confessed she loves wearing high heels so much - she exercises in them.
The sexy actress, who plays raunchy Gabrielle Solis in the hit show, admitted she has a fetish for fancy footwear.
She said: "I'm very over the top in that way.
"I only ever wear high heels, and they have to be over four inches. I even do aerobics in stilettos, they are so part of me."
BANG Media International

EVEN THE SHADOWY MARRYING MAN (HE WHO IS NO LONGER ON THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER) SIMPLY CANNOT GET ALONG WITH a) ANY DIVORCE LAWYERS and b) ANYONE NAMED KIM
Alec Baldwin's marriage vow - BANG - July 25, 2005
(BANG) - Alec Baldwin has vowed never to remarry.
The Hollywood heartthrob, who is currently dating stunning 27-year-old lawyer Nicole Seidel, insists he will never tie the knot again because of his bitter divorce from screen beauty Kim Basinger.
Baldwin, 47, insists the experience was so emotionally and physically draining it has put him off marriage for life.
He said: "It's hard with my lifestyle to settle down. If I'd been married successfully, maybe I'd have a different view, but I wouldn't consider getting married again."
However, Baldwin, 47, claims something did come good from the divorce - it made him a better person.
He added in an interview with Britain's Weekend magazine: "One thing my divorce did do was make me a better person.
"Hell will be filled with divorce lawyers and I know that if I'm bad I will dread being down there with them."
The Canadian Press BANG Media International

Monday, August 01, 2005

you - in the pit(t)...now!!!

Remember when I mentioned -for at least the second time, on the *luminous blog*- that Cam Neely saw his career shortened by a malicious coaching manoeuver from the Opponent of the Boston Bruins (Cam's team - of course) in that particular playoff series...? The coach who made that decision was nicknamed Badger Bob - his goal was to finally make the franchise that hired him get over the hump - any hump! (They had never won -stolen- any championship prior to that...) And so he took all the means necessary - not that the end really does "justify the means" nor makes any of it nobler... Ulf, again, was his instrument and the one (goon) who actually cowardly injured Cam Neely from behind - to stop Neely from scoring easy goal after easy goal that would have otherwise sunk the Badger's team, which included the alleged "magnificent one" Mario Lemieux. Well... Cam The Man Neely was out-magnificying the magnificent one and his entire team there - all by himself! Stop him, and you stop the Bruins - and that is what unfortunately happened. That unfair play-favoring, dirty-playing team was... the Pittsburgh Penguins, who just now were blessed by the gods (ha - there is only ONE GOD) and allotted the first pick overall in the entry draft with which they selected the alleged superstar of the future - Sidney Crosby... Like such a franchise deserves blessings... Right...
But now, comes something -again out of Pittsburgh- that is so eeriely similar... yet, quite different... for much, much worse, believe it or not...
What is it, in the Pitt - is it something in the water, the air or what?!?
What in blue blazes turns coaches in Pittsburgh into... well... cruel monsters?!? Details - in the comments section.

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Statistics Sundays 8

Paper - we do not think twice about it, but, it is a precious commodity. Once, there was no paper for anything, people! Stationery, napkins, paper towels, bathroom tissue, "kleenexes"... a few centuries ago, no one anywhere had any of that! Today, we have grown to be blasé about it - even though we are depleting forests and the precious commodity is becoming more precious, we trivialize it all by such statements as "trees still grow" - so, let's not give a damn? Recycling is the most important of the "three Rs", people - get on with the program! And, as for trees still growing... the rainforest is NOT making up for its lost trees; and, yes folks, it is the pulmonary system of our Earth - that means the air WE breathe too...

Quick Facts on Paper

Americans use approximately 31.5 million tons of printing and writing paper each year. To produce that paper, over 535 million trees and more than 12 billion gallons of oil are used.
In the United States, more than 90 percent of the printing and writing paper comes from virgin tree fiber (fiber that comes from trees, not recycled paper).
Nearly half the trees cut in North America are used for papermaking.
U.S. pulp mills consume 12,430 square miles of forests around the world each year, roughly an area the size of Maryland.
Nearly 80% of the world's original old growth forests (the world's older forests, characterized by large, old trees, including dead snags and fallen trees that provide wildlife habitat) have already been logged or severely degraded, and in the United States we have lost 95% or our old growth forests.

Gift packaging (along with any sort of packaging) alone accounts for 1/3 of our waste by weight or 1/2 by volume (Worldwatch Institute, 1996).

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