Forget About That Corny Corner-Ribbon's Drivel! The Real Secret is HERE Indeed - not over there!

Monday, January 17, 2005

money is the root of all... excesses

The seemingly neverending NHL lockout for instance (which has NHLPA advisor Bob Goodenow telling players to seek employment in Europe, just so not to gather too much rust, because he foresees the stoppage to last up to two YEARS...), well, this labor dispute has at the heart of the matter money concerns... comes as no surprise there isn't enough to go around and keep both team owners and players happy... or simply provided for.

The team proprietors claim it is the players' fault... yet, they are the ones who started overpaying those mediocre players! Still, now they cry foul and demand a salary cap as the only means to salvage the NHL... pfffttt...

But I digress.

There are far more classic examples of EXCESSES...
Take the lure of stardom... MC HAMMER had it all - bought himself a white elephant of a mansion and then went BUST. (Not sure if the tale was the same as far as Vanilla Ice goes... I am sure Eminem will make sure NOT to turn into another Vanilla Ice... although they both display very similar natural-born comedic talents... *lol*). The "so-so stars" who wind up on Entertainment Tonight basically trying to SELL THEIR HIGH-PRICED ABODES are the ones who take this life lesson and drive it home with an exclamation point... When the bright lights are dimmed and the spotlight is no longer on you (not to quote that execrable 15 minutes quote which I abhor - whoever timed it as such anyhow?!? But I digress again...), your star will fade away - and then it will be time for a clearance sale!

But do they ever learn...? Adam Sandler -of all people- has just purchased a mansion for the lofty sum of 13 million dollars... What are the propriety taxes on THAT?!? Does he really think he can rake in the dough indefinitely with his serialized output of loveable loser-type character-movies...? Anything is possible, but... He is simply not playing it safe (and probably wants to impress the missus...). I will give him credit though - at least he does not go the REMAKE ROUTE like has-been Steve Martin (whose BILKO was AWFUL) nor does he go for the SEQUEL SIDETRACK... Who really wants to see Big Daddy 2... Spanglish 2 (lest it becomes Enganish...?!? Ughhh...) or -heaven forbid- Nicky 2! NOOOOOOOO...!

Speaking of credit where credit is due, CAMERON DIAZ -again, of all people- would be commended for NOT indulging in such typical excesses... She purchased a "modest" house, as far as Hollywood stars go, for the reported estimated price of a "mere" 2.7 million bucks... Only 2,800 square-foot wide too... She is a veritable pauper... right. She may be an angel after all though... one of wisdom amongst all these stars who know not what they do - and are only interested, or so it would appear, in finding new ways to squander money hardly truly "earned"...

Oh... having said all that, I must add that I always enjoy seeing HAPPY GILMORE again, whenever I can catch it... (no, I sure do not go out of my way to catch it though - and I have a rule against SQUANDERING MONEY -topical approach here- by purchasing films on DVD that I have ALREADY SEEN... and see regularly on free tv or cable to boot!).

Although... Sandler perpetuates the myth and the lie about the Boston Bruins being nothing but goons by wearing a Bruins jersey when he challenges THE PRICE IS RIGHT's Bob Barker to a fist fight (old man Barker... anybody know what being a "barker" used to MEAN...? Never mind that now... I'll eventually get into ETYMOLOGY and word origins... some other time though!)... Of course, being a Jerry Lewis heir apparent as wanna-be (Jim Carrey is the true heir though), Sandler promptly drops the fight and lets Barker rough him up... one of the movie's thoroughly-enjoyable moments to tell the truth! Still... if he wanted to pick on senior citizens and be a goon, he could have done it while wearing a Montreal Canadiens jersey... Oh, right... not popular enough a bit of merchandise to showcase in the film... product placement being an integral part of moviemaking considerations nowadays, as we all know... ;)

Still... HAPPY GILMORE is likely his masterpiece... not MR. DEEDS... (the word "masterpiece" being very loosely used here, of course... and only in the sense of a CINDERFELLA or NUTTY PROFESSOR -both by Jerry Lewis; no Eddie Murphys need apply- or the best of the best... THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS!).

Check for my movie-reviewing on IMDB sometime, everybody...!!! ;)

All that being said, the word "masterpiece" and the name "Adam Sandler" are anachronisms when they are present in the same sentence...

It goes also for Jim Carrey...

And it goes a hundred-fold for Rob Schneider and many lesser comics who are just there to "entertain" - mildly at best...

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