Saturday, April 09, 2005
you really must remember this now - a kiss is just a kiss...
Now, is it really true what the ancient Chinese said about kissing - that it's like drinking salted water?!? Once you drink some - you thirst for more! (Pouring salt: always a bad idea!)
Is it really true that "kissing etiquettes" of various cultures have to be and even are observed...?!? Can it be true that your kissing style says it all about you...? Gee... the people who overanalyze this mere display of affection must have NEVER seen Casablanca... It may seem incredible, but I personally know plenty of people who have never seen this cinematic classic! Sheesh... too busy watching wastes of rotten celluloid to watch the good ones, eh? :(
But I digress yet again...
Back to puckering up... Since on saturday nights, that is the preferred activity for many - I doubt that the "kissing experts" have thoroughly analyzed ONE aspect of it though... the bacteria being shared!!! *LOL* Yes, I know... not romantic one bit, eh? But true - and the luminous blog is not luminous if it does not dispense a truth a day - read the fine print! (Oh - that's right - it is FOR MY EYES ONLY - LOL).
If a picture can say a thousand words, a kiss can send a million messages. What are you saying? By Kelly Jones
If a picture can say a thousand words, a kiss can send a million messages-from polite to passionate, invitational to dismissive, marking discovery to signaling finality. To complicate matters, many cultures have customary kissing etiquettes.
The French peck twice in greeting, once on each side of the face, the greedy Dutch opt for three; Californians touch cheeks and murmur "mwouah mwouah" into the recipient's ear. There's also the blown kiss, the air kiss, or the stolen kiss, and you can kiss and tell, kiss my grits, or kiss and make up. Even as children we learned the power of the peck: a serendipitous smooch could wake a Sleeping Beauty or morph a toad into a handsome prince. And then, there's the romantic kiss: such pleasure... such pressure. It can seal the deal or cut short the night, but keeping a few tidbits in mind when you lean in for the lip lock will ensure more of the former kiss bliss.
Prelude to a Kiss
Preparations for any kiss, although not always possible, are highly recommended. If you're out and about and don't have access to the necessary supplies-chapstick, toothpaste, mouthwash, razor for stubble-do your best to find yourself a sprig of parsley or mint, or a wad of gum. Ladies who Lipstick should consider lightening their layers; bearded boys best check for the remains of the day. What your lip lock lacks in good taste must be made up for in performance.
There's a lot of pressure surrounding the first kiss. Many treat the first smooch as a two-fold experiment: the mechanical test (a good kisser equals a good lover) and the chemistry test (sparks fly or fizzle). Most would agree that a first peck should be gentle, momentary, tentative. So rather than thinking of it as a prelude to more passionate practices, this first kiss should be experienced in and of itself. Most people kiss the way they want to be kissed-hard or soft, slow or fast, dry or juicy, exploratory or subdued-so follow their lead if you're looking for guidance.
Kiss of Life
Kissing not only feels good on your lips and in your nether regions, smooching is actually beneficial to your health. As two tongues touch, nerve endings fire off messages to other parts of your body: various muscles clench, your lungs start to work harder and your lips swell (who needs Botox?), to name but a few. As your heart rate increases, your veins dilate and all that rushing blood can make you feel hot and sweaty. A French kiss requires the use of more than 30 facial muscles (bonjour!), toning your jaw and cheek, which in turn reduces the likelihood of sagging chops. A good make-out session burns about half the calories of jogging and makes your mouth water, which helps flush out plaque and prevent cavities. And, kissing is good for your soul, too. Physical touch boosts certain hormone levels in your body, which can create that warm, fuzzy, feels-good-all-over sensation. Nurturing, bonding and loving, the therapeutic power of a kiss may have started the first time your mom kissed a boo-boo on your elbow.
Kiss of Death
Like the kiss from a Mafioso, a poorly executed kiss can also lead to dating death. To avoid getting the kiss off, remember these necking no-no's. Never lunge at your date or approach with a gaping mouth or sticky-outtie tongue. Nor is it a good idea to start things off with your jackhammer move or to aim immediately for their tonsils - gentle exploring is certainly called for, but pace and timing are critical. Finally, try and keep your saliva in check to avoid that slobbering dog look afterward.
It's true that other parts of our body may be 100 times less sensitive than our lips, but that doesn't mean they should go ignored. Erogenous zones differ in everyone, so it's important to read your date's body language when mapping out your first kissing trail. Do they knee-jerk when you kiss their neck, move their body toward you when you go for the earlobes? What sounds are they making-are they moaning gently or squealing from feeling ticklish? Are they breathing quickly or slowly? Are they snoring? Watch and listen and proceed accordingly.
Once you've mastered the kiss, you may find that you want to be smooching all the time. Fear not, my pretties. This is normal. As the ancient Chinese proverb goes, "Kissing is like drinking salted water: you drink and your thirst increases." Pucker up!
the Vampire's Kiss?
the Judas Kiss?
the a$$ kiss(ing)?
the fake kiss (a socialite thing)?
(elsewhere than in California!)
the virtual kiss?
(hey - are we in the cyber age or not?!? *LOL*)
the long kiss goodbye?
and, my favorite,
(yes - I do belong to another age - that of chivalry! ;)