Friday, June 24, 2005
St.John The Baptist was NOT here...!!!
In fact, of course, Quebec thinks it should secede from Canada for many reasons that can even be seen as justifiable to a certain degree; but all said reasons stem from the oddest circumstances indeed... For Quebec's very existence came about from a chain of events that can only be labeled as a historical mistake...!
France had no business even being in the area - the only reason they had to come to North America was questionable at best, after the Portuguese frowned upon it... Columbus and Vespucci (whose first name, Amerigo, is the origin of the name America... and maybe also the word "Americado" - but that is most definitely another story... it would explain Frisco though... *lol*) came, saw and did, basically, what true Frenchmen call glaner...! And then, simply because the basest feelings were stirring them on (jealousy, pride, hatred of the British) the French had to found their nonsensical, totally out of place as superfluous Nouvelle-France... The King of France also had high hopes of finding gold there and sincerely hoped (the fool) that his new territory would thus turn out to be a treasure trove for his vanity to feed off - alas, for him, he had been misinformed (legend has it that the Portuguese had tried to warn both him as anyone else coming by sea, leaving a sign that read "aqui nem cana da" which means "not even the most common grass is to be found here" (they'd seen how barren the land looked, once the harsh winters hit...!). That sign, obviously, was not heeded for starters - as it could obviously also be the origin of the name Canada... however, native americans lay claim to the name, as it describes their village - but, maybe, just maybe, they were inspired by the sign to start calling their village "canada" in the first place... hmm? But I digress...).
The sole reason to keep up this Nouvelle-France going at all soon became the rather silly fur trade... we are talking about beaver fur - of course (!). And the *real* reason was -does it need delineating- to simply be in the face of the English... who would soon decimate all French forces they would get to face off with, both in Europe (feel free to hum Abba's classic hit now - "Waterloo" - *LOL*) and in North America where the French numbers were next to nothing really... It was, truly, a piece of cake there... And, by all logical lines of progress and evolution, that should have been the end of it for la Nouvelle-France... and Québec... and any freakish French presence in North America at all (which had, most oddly of all, extended even all the way to Louisiana - to the Bayou - via a tiny contingent of fool-hardy frenchmen doomed from the start... again, another story...!). THAT, readers, would be when the historical mistake occurred... when the triumphant English were too lenient, and allowed the French to stick around. Not prone to genocide myself, I would have gone the deportation route (something along the lines of what happened to Acadians) - none of the newly-arrived French really liked it there, in "Canada", anyway...! They were dying, hardly prepared to cope with the winter season and other "local problems" like it... They truly would have prefered to return to France; had they voted on it... Europe, at any rate... For, verily, the French never had any business even being there in the first place!
The results of them being allowed to stay are... dumb-founding! The Cajun speak such an unintelligible dialect that one needs to pay the closest attention... AND to carry around a glossary, just to get all that they say! It does give interpreters, linguists and translators a basic raison d'être I guess... And Quebeckers mangle French too - often beyond recognition as well! They claim to love the language - but they misuse it and are, quite frankly, the black sheep of the Francophonie... how can it be otherwise, when they are truly the bastard child of France? It has thus de-evolved into a bastard population that cannot even sustain itself - they have to keep their population levels up via massive injections of immigration. And then they will enforce the French language first rule, because even the run-of-the-mill immigrant -or refugee from a war-torn country- will be smart enough to give the edge to ENGLISH upon reaching Canadian shores; the anomaly that is Québec is only, to most of them, perceived at least as nothing more than a stopover, a stepping stone, on their way to another province (all of which are predominantly anglo-saxon founded and, thus, anglophone - despite Federal efforts to pass Canada as a whole as a "bilingual country"... and soon it will be what - a bisexual country as well? Thanks to the crazed Prime Minister of Canada, Paul Martin, who does originate from... Québec! What a coincidence...) or... if the refugees are really smart... on their way to the land of the free / home of the brave... you know where! *lol*
Thus, in the light of this ridiculous comedy of vainglorious errors of history, spurred on by vain so-called "discoverers" and kings of France (mercifully, a crown that no longer exists - and I say that with the knowledge that one of my ancestors was a part of the Court of France...! Yes - another story!) - the little "holiday" today is truly a FARCE... way beyond the fact that, for some very obscure reason, Québec chose to celebrate itself on the Christian day of a most favorite saint of mine - The Baptist! Joseph of Arimathea, Jesus' uncle, was in England - that is what triggered all the Holy Grail stories... the most ridiculous theories have placed Jesus in France too (don't ask)...
Jesus-Christ may have easily travelled indeed, in his formative years (his twenties) to many places we know not of, officially... I am even willing to listen to Latter-Day Saints who claim that Christ visited Native Americans, shortly after His Resurrection and before His Ascension, right here, yes, on North American soil... However, John The Baptist, Christ's cousin, never came even remotely close to Québec - there is, verily, no link between him and this God-forsaken place...!!!
Of course, when choosing a patron saint, logic was not always observed in the old days...
Now, don't get me wrong folks - I do not hate le peuple Québécois...! I certainly do not feel contempt for them because of their forefathers' stubbornness in sticking around (or butting in) where they simply didn't belong... I despise them for far more personal reasons than that, actually... *LOL* I execrate them for their massacring of a not-so-bad (until they use it that is) language... I despise their hypocrisy, nepotism, racism and "nombrilisme" (the worst form of vanity) - and I certainly hate to death their professing to be a bastion of faith, still, in the world... HA! That is hardly displayed by their usage of sacred words as common-day SWEAR WORDS... the only spot on the damn rotting planet where I know of this as a rampant abominable bad habit!
Simply put, Quebec sucks for a whole lot of reasons... Catholics, are they? No wonder Catholics have such a bad rep now then... Honestly though, Quebeckers are as religiously-inclined and "faithful" as the Pope (John Paul II, anyway...) was a satanist... in other words, NOT AT ALL!!! Thus, for them to celebrate themselves under the umbrella of a saint is truly the height of insincerity... but of course, no mention of the saint is ever made either!
Bonne St-Jean Baptiste quand même... québécois! *LOL*
Even though it might well be nothing more than... la fête de la médiocrité!
(Don't look now but... Your annual birthrate is constantly dipping further and further below the mortality rate - and those few bastards that you do manage to give birth to are simply not up to par, are they? They take after their fathers and mothers - they are inept. Statistics show that there is an ever-increasing depletion of qualified laborers in many fields - but I might want to save that for... statistics sundays! Same luminous blog channel - roughly at the same luminous time! *ROFL*). ;)
Be my guest now... please...! Go listen to your classic quasi-anthem now - Offenbach (an odd band from an odd place) seminal tune... "Rirolarma" (literally; "laughing in tears"). Always loved that one; found it so very fitting for the entire province's history overall... ;)
Labels: Le 24 Juin
You sure were the history teacher today! Wow, I learned a lot about Canada, Quebec, France, the French, and so much more!
This is so interesting! I really enjoyed reading it, and learning all you had to teach!
I look forward to learning more and more from you! Thanks so much for writng this!
I think I will have to read this again, just to make sure I didn't miss anything! :) I'll do that tomorrow when I am not so sleepy!
Although, of course, it does not really apply here as the circumstances that spawned Québec shall never again present themselves... Still, there is a lesson to be learned and that is to stop being so competitive! In today's society, the urge to be just that is, alas, very great - but one sees that it can lead ONLY GOD KNOWS WHERE when it is such an outrageously blind competitive spirit as France had towards Great Britain (must have been the name - when England got to be "Great", France felt an instant complex developing - since all they have is... a girlie name! *LOL* Yeah, I know - my whimsical approach to reinterpreting history is not recognized by any official school of thought or historical society... so what? Bwah ha ha!).
Got some rather TIMID reactions to my Quebec-bashing... yes... Paul, as usual (that was to be expected) who wrote something like...
"hey - toé là là...!!!"
Very incoherent Quebec JOUAL... typical... and pathetic!
And then there was NATHALIE... My name theory stands confirmed with her - as I reassert from time to time on my blog, one's given birth name says a lot about what we become... and all namesakes appear to be essentially the same... Based on my experience with Nathalies -and this one who wrote in is the exclamation point *lol*- they are neurotically nincompoopish, inane and classless! Oh well... who needs them, eh? Not surprising that, throughout history, there has never been royalty named Nathalie or Natalie... not one!
Online you will find Princess Natalie from Planet Egomania. Her site features bitchy advice, observations, and links... Wow, eh? She "hates everything... almost" too...
Now this fake blue blood does corroborate both my name theory and my assessment in re: Nathalies at large... The one that wrote to me about her ferveur québécoise is, judging from her style of writing and choice of words, hardly a "belle québécoise" (the existence of which is undisputably a myth anyway - on par -but truly subpar to- the Russian Babushka and Lady Godiva... *lol*).
Simply put, the Nathalie who wrote to me is beyond help.
Her words and weak as unstructured argumentation were thus:
"quebec est libre (quebec is free - a very poor display of quotative ability - as the old man, General de Gaulle actually said "vive le Quebec libre!" - in mere jest really!) quebec rueles (rues the day it was born...?!? *lol* Oh... "rules"... hmm... rules what?!? A heap of french frogs delusions of grandeur?!? *LOL*)
you dont liek it here you leave it alone (I think she meant to adapt the good old USofA saying - "love it or leave it"... quite unsucessfully at that! Thing is... who says I am either there... or not about to leave it already?!? *LOL* ANYTHING is possible... eh?) le cave (an attempt at insulting common to the lower lifeforms in la belle province... pas belle pas pas en toutte ouais! *LOL* Ah... don't ask for a translation; it isn't worth it! Suffice it to say... when they call you "le cave" - they are expressing their disarray at not being able to understand you... and really acknowledging their inability to comprehend multi-syllabic words for instance... or more complex thought patterns that can produce more than just four-letter words...! But I digress...
Enough time wasted on this anyhow - as, again, Nathalie here is a case -and a "cave" *lol*- way beyond any hope at all...