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Friday, July 01, 2005

canada day... eh?

Frankly - as with any other birthday, what is there to celebrate... eh? The question goes doubly so when it pertains to this patchwork country that is, in my estimation, more circumstancial than an actual stroke of fate (and, as we all know, in a court of flawed earthly justice, circumstancial evidence does not make a case *LOL* I reserve the right to use the logic of the masses AGAINST them as I see fir - even though I abhor said so-called logic) more luck (but strange luck though; the kind that lands you into the fire once you're out of the frying pan... wrong analogy since it is cold here most of the year - but you get the picture! *lol*) than the fruit of any design at all...

Again, Canadians overall are pretty much stoic and storyless - so, one more time, I have to look towards the troublemaker province of Quebec for some juicy material... and there is a ton of it there too! *lol*

They LOOOOOVE their hockey - as I divulged here already - so much so that when their favorites don't win, they'll make them win on TV series that only they will enjoy, let alone watch...! The funny thing is, their Quebec Nordiques never won a Stanley Cup in real life - the fictional penchant(...) dubbed le National de Québec (sic) did... And then, when the Nordiques MOVED TO THE USA (because the NHL came to the realization that Quebec City simply could not support a major league club...) they immediately DID WIN THE CUP IN REAL LIFE... but as the Colorado Avalanche! To add insult to injury, when MLB moved the neighbour Montreal Expos to Washington, not only did the Expos cease to exist but, on top of that, they stole the old National name in rechristening the Ex-Expos the WASHINGTON NATIONALS...!!!

Who knows - maybe the Nationals will win the World Series now - they were the favorites to win it in 1994 if memory serves me right (and it always does) but did not... what happened? Hmm... let me see now... Oh, yes! There was a STRIKE! And no World Series at all! Boo-hoo. Old quarries of mine - on message boards - as recently as last January would laugh at my comparison of the Canadiens being robbed of a (potentially - for I disagreed on any chances at all they might have had) ''good year'' for them in 2004-2005 with the LOCK-OUT... and I compared that to the Expos, who still hailed from the same God-forsaken town in 1994, who had been screwed out of a very decent chance of a championship that year. Those so-called fans claimed not to give a damn about the Expos (game attendance reflected that, I concur... *lol*) yet they would most certainly be among the rioters and looters on St-Catherine Street (DON'T visit sometime...) HAD the Expos won anything at all that year! With fans like these, the Expos are indeed better off near the center of corruption in DC. *LOL*

If not their sports teams, what has Canada got to celebrate today? Their culture? After any lengthy exposure to Buffy Ste-Marie, Gordon Lightfoot and Anne Murray, one is ready to go to sleep for a decade! There is worse than that, of course: three quarters of the so-called talent that comes out of Québec (again) - AND the likes of Zappacosta and... Corey Hart!!! (No - he never surrendered... you gotta give him that... alas, his career, agent and fans all gave up on him.) :(
There are ALWAYS exceptions to the rule (Rush, Bryan Adams, Shania Twain and a few more have all exhibited a constance of excellence that is irrefutable) and those that I seemingly thrashed here did dish out unforgettable classics too... but canadiana is just non-existent! And, besides, I simply can't stand Sneering Sarah McLachlan anymore... *lol*

Canadian TV is also a non-existent entity - no one will watch local content in Canada! National (there's that word again - lol) networks such as Global will announce that they ''got it'' - in reference to both American content and that their audience is NOT interested in local entertainment at all - and that they know it and acknowledge it! Ninety per cent of their programming comes American networks... Great going Global! Cable subscribers can't steal cable but you sure can! *LOL*

What else is there... Canadian History? A comedy of errors closer to the exploits of Inspector Clouseau than the adventures of Marco Polo... Canadian Art? Is It Art? Canadian National Identity? They're schizophrenic from ocean to ocean! Frenglish or Engfrench (but not Spanglish - thank God!!!) and everything in-between those two extremes are ''spoken'' here... if the sound emanating from some true blue Canadians actually is 'speaking' at all...!!! Canadian Patriotism? As non-existent as the rest... I could go on... but who gives a damn in this country anymore? Nobody does, that's who... eh? ;) *lol*

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