Sunday, July 10, 2005
special edition of statistics sunday: very very very extremely trivial hollywood facts
Did you notice that they cast DARKMAN / Qui-Gon Jinn / Liam Neeson as the trainer of Bruce Wayne, in Batman Begins? No wonder he turns into a megalomaniacal control freak who dubs himself as a "darkknight detective" after his training is complete - not only the obvious Darkman influence, but do you people know what an actual JINN is...?!? George Lucas knows... and it ain't a Jedi! ALSO they cast Bram Stoker's Dracula, Gary Oldman, as commissioner Gordon... the only miscast part is indeed Katie Holmes... they were on a good streak there... they should have cast ELVIRA too... It wouldn't be worse than getting Justin Timberlake as Two-Face... why, pray tell? Because he is two-timing Cameron Diaz? I shudder at the thought of who they will think of next to take over as Joker and Penguin... Dubya could be used as the Ventriloquist's dummy mind you...
Fantastic Four went with logical choices in their casting of the queer (not in THAT sense) quatuor - the tv actor who was The Commish but also Curly of the Three Stooges was chosen to become The Thing... Horatio Hornblower himself was cast as Mr. Fantastic; the character was supposed to represent the fluidity of the one element not really represented among the four - water! The same actor was also seen in... Titanic! And a virtual unknown "hot shot wannabee" actor was called into duty as the Human Torch. As for the Invisible Girl... pardon, Woman... they got popular Jessica Alba, fresh off the cancellation of her Dark Angel series, and dyed her hair blond - for the few shots in which she is visible? Dark Angel was a brainchild of James Cameron - director of... Titanic! And Terminator too, of course... maybe an inspiration for Doctor Doom? Naaaah...
Still on a super-hero note - Hollywood has no clue who's who in DC Comics and what's what in Marvel stuff - they routinely placed Wonder Woman amongst the Avengers - when it really was Wonder MAN. And now, some nitwit press release did not bother to do an elementary back-up check on his facts and subbed Spidey, the ever-popular wall-crawler, for SUPERMAN as the foremost member of the Justice League...
Incredible (no, not bringing Hulk into the mix now, no...!) - any child would know this but they don't have a clue... These characters are perceived as only properties to license and nothing else in Tinseltown - and that goes, of course, for all affiliated entertainment subsidiaries...! The long listings of characters of each company - each "universe" - are looked at as a sort of catalog in which to pick a name to use and misuse and abuse even... They may do that with impunity with lame-o "properties" such as Howard The Duck, the Sub-Mariner, Doctor Strange and the campy treatment Batman got in the past - all well-deserved in my luminous estimation! :)
Mistreating characters with a better mythos behind them - such as Swamp Thing and mother Earth... Aquaman and Atlantis (and the sea overall)... and any characters that should deal with heaven and hell in a serious manner - now THAT is a travesty!
However, the names of the characters prevail in the equation - if they will sell as "goods" - or not. THAT is all that matters to Hollywood producers and their affiliated leeches. The fact that said characters could be used to sensibilize audiences towards greater topics than their mere fantasy selves is secondary - if not tertiary - if not non-existent!
A shame... but not all that infuriating. I am more appalled when they get that way - or worse; outright sacrilegious - with saintly historical figures... especially when it pertains to Christ of course.
07/07/2005 4:45:12 PM
Warner Bros. Interactive comic series makes its move from the comics to the consoles
by Todd Mowatt
Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment (WBIE) told the gaming world today that Justice League of America the role-playing game (RPG) is under development.
The game will be based on the DC Comic book series, not the Cartoon Network animated series.
The super heroes to be included in the game will include: Spiderman, Batman, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman, and the Martian Manhunter.
‘We are excited to announce a videogame that will bring the legendary super heroes of the Justice League of America to the next level for gamers,’ said Jason Hall, Senior Vice President of Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment. ‘The innovative and highly engaging combat system in the Justice League of America game will capture the strength and appeal of the characters, offering players a tremendously fun and rewarding experience.’
‘The joy of the Justice League as a game is the chance to be your favorite characters and to interact with the rest of the team in the rich fantasy world of the DC universe,’ said Paul Levitz, President & Publisher of DC Comics.
Justice League of America will be released this Fall on the PlayStation 2 and Xbox.
2K Sports Ready to Hit the Ice with NHL 2K6 this Season
Activision goes all-in with World Series of Poker on the Consoles
Summer is Over as the Halo 2 Multiplayer Expansion Pack Hits Retail
Legend of Zelda Buzz Reaching Crescendo with Game Critics and Retailers
Tecmo to Bring Tokobot to the PSP
Killer 7 Takes Aim at Canadian Gamers
Hmm... Why do they always limit themselves to 5 members for the League? The original five were Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter, yes... but The Flash, AQUAMAN and Black Canary - no bats no soupesy either, much less any arachnids now... come on!!! A quintet that sure was more fantastic than that quartet on the silver screen right now... hmm? Not merely four regular joes turned into something more -if not freakish- by a banal accident really... Fantastic Five though was not as good a name as... The Justice League Of America! *LOL*
Now... those OTHER game news... NHL still bothers...?!? Why - some people really never do learn... eh? NHL 2K5 was boring as heck... of course! All those virtual board meetings emulated... owners versus players negociations... so-called "labor" talks (playing hockey is NOT a JOB - it's called PLAYING for a reason... right?!? And it is called a GAME for that same reason as well...!!!) - sheesh!
Surely NHL 2K6 will be more entertaining now - with the scab player invasion!
Go, replacement Bruins, go! *LOL*
This Jason Hall - whoever that is - and especially Paul Levitz (another PAUL... eh, Paul? I am ap-paul-led! *LOL*) must be sooooooo humiliated to be quoted in this article/press release... it is as if THEY don't even know their own characters!
"The super heroes to be included in the game will include: Spiderman, Batman, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman, and the Martian Manhunter."
Paul especially must be rueing the day he okayed this - and did not make sure this Todd Mowatt kid (evidently a fan of the other Toddster - McFarlane!) had his facts straight!
MARVEL must be mad too - here they have put so much effort into reconstructing / deconstructing / reassembling / dissassembling their own main team - THE AVENGERS - tinkering so much with its membership so that it could RIVAL the Justice League... and adding to it, for that express purpose, all the big names that they could... all the guys who had a movie recently basically (Punisher, Wolverine... SPIDER-MAN) in an all-star assemblage of Avengers meant to even outleague the League (it hasn't)... and what happens? A widespread press release for a PlayStation2 and Xbox offering taunts them that SPIDERMAN IS IN THE JUSTICE LEAGUE?!?
This is too funny... this is beyond comical and laughable... this is hilarious!
Marvel has made zero progress with its Avengers revamp... and DC passes for incompetents - the way the Batman movie franchise is shaping up to de-evolve again seems to indicate that they do NEVER LEARN and are doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over again (as with the names... properties actually... that they lost the rights to - for simple non-use of them! Captain Marvel... and Elasti-Girl, stolen from them recently by DISNEY of all people - for their INCREDIBLES! The hoot was that it happened just as DC was waking up and preparing to re-use their own Elasti-Girl... oops, thay can't anymore because they lost the name now! It belongs to that rat down south... *LOL* Amazing that they didn't really lose STARMAN - even though there was another - and likewise Marvel didn't stop using their ICEMAN when another one had a movie made out of him... KARATE KID also comes to mind as an example of that... but DC killed off his own, so it appears they don't even want the name anymore... sheesh! Just as before, when they frowned upon Captain Marvel and shelved him - and rival MARVEL seized the name - a natural for them! They truly never do learn, these Gotham City boys...! *LOL* I wonder if DC's real reason to FINALLY want to make an AQUAMAN film is that there are so many OTHER AQUAMEN on the net... even a football team, the Miami Dolphins, call themselves the Aquamen! Hmm... anyway!!!).
Surely Mr. Levitz will hear from this at DC's Christmas bash this year - where everyone will dress as the Bat-Family... He will be forced to wear a Bat-Mite costume... if not an Awkwardman (of Inferior Five fame) costume...!!! *LOL*
"And don't forget the irony this summer - as it pertains to Batman Begins. As Bats actually... starts anew, those that really began it all are doing such... crap! Tim Burton directed this Chocolate Factory thing... and Michael Keaton is on that horrible Herbie Fully Loaded waste of celluloid!"
I see your point, buddy...
Charlie And The Chocolate Factory may be crap - it is after all a Tim Burton film - but the source material was Roald Dahl's classic children's book, Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory... and that was good stuff! Likewise, Herbie is good children's fare... those Dean Jones films were, anyway!
Overall though - I do applaud your sardonic point of view - it mirrors my own! ;)