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Friday, November 04, 2005

Last luminous blog post about wrestling - ever!!!

(Picture: Copyright WWE 2005 - sue my luminous derrière McMahon - come on!)
Flair won his big cage match Tuesday... as I had predicted. (Actually, I had cursed the WWE to bankrupcy in the advent of a Flair loss... but it is irrelevant now.)
Each time I see Flair, I think of WCW. And each time I think of WCW - I think of the company's flagship group - the Four Horsemen. Author and founding father of the group J.J. Dillon is right when he says that the two are synonymous. And, when I think of the Horsemen... well, I can't help but to wonder about the whereabouts of one Mongo McMichael - the Horseman that was the most everyman-like of the bunch in the late 90s (aside from Arn Anderson himself, that is!).
Mongo is a sad tragic story - though there are sadder and far more tragic to be found too (Horsemen rejects Brian Pillman and Curt Hennig are BOTH DEAD. And there are plenty more tales of horror in that business - "wrestling tragedies"abound, aye... with surely much more to come. Mongo, though, strikes a chord... because he was such a big teddy bear of a man in the end and not at all the ruffian and the brute that his appearance projected; most of us can identify with that!). 


Man... I thought HORSEMEN member Steve Mongo McMichael was stupid to have allowed himself to hurt so much because his DUMB BLONDE OF A WIFE had left him... Mongo was one of the 4 HORSEMEN - alongside RIC FLAIR - an honor and a privilege that alone should have made him impervious to such harm, as his ego should have ballooned up out of control... Hey, the man was part of an ELITE...! Not sufficient for him it seems, as Mongo quit wrestling... gained so many extra pounds... was a total WRECK after his dumb blonde - DEBRA - did leave him... It was very sad to see when he made his next public appearance at a Cubs game - how unrecognizable he had become. (Sort of a male version of Kirstie Alley - but with a good reason to put on the pounds and be down!). And I thought "how silly of him - I will never make THAT mistake!" DEBRA then hooked up with another wrestler... who wound up stating that she GAVE NEW MEANING TO THE EXPRESSION DUMB BLONDE. That wrestler was Double J, Jeff Jarrett, another Horsemen reject who then took the dumb blonde Debra to the WWE anyway... Once there, Double J started tag-teaming with one OWEN HART - with Dumb Debra as their manager (though she hardly managed at all to walk and chew gum at the same time even... but that is another story.) DEBRA proved to be a FATAL JINX when Owen Hart died a most freakish death BREAKING HIS NECK FALLING FROM THE CEILING INTO THE RING (only in the WWE...) and, next, Double J left the WWE in a most distraught state - and has since been ostracized by the WWE, in fact... DEBRA remained there though and eventually became the love of one STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN... Know what happened? STONE COLD was smarter than MONGO (who is a big guy with dark hair - sort of like me) - STONE COLD did not let her break his (allegedly stone cold) HEART... instead, HE BEAT UP DEBRA AND LEFT HER... one of his many bouts with THE LAW... In effect, SHE received what she dispensed; having treated Mongo like dirt... and, just like Mongo was because of HER, SHE was so distressed and such a wreck that she quit wrestling altogether too; what goes around... comes around. She was a female wrestler but just barely; more a bimbo than anything else... hardly missed by anyone. Her kind is easily replaceable and not that classy - though they call them "WWE DIVAS" - they are only good to parade around... and pose for Playboy like Sable did... Chyna... Torrie Wilson... Oddly enough, the most bimboesque of them all, very blonde too (and Canadian) Trish Stratus has NOT posed for Hugh Hefner's rag of a mag... yet! WCW's Stacy Keibler neither. I feel somewhat sad for Torrie Wilson, who has more class (barely) and she did start out in WCW after all... WCW went bankrupt because of the sleazy WWE - and it is sad that the WWE made of her what they made of all the other bimbos - she deserved a tiny little bit better fate than that... WCW was the home of the Horsemen - the house that Flair built... the home of family-oriented entertainment, as Bill Goldberg stated many times (he and Christian-convert wrestler and sometimes actor Sting both; not to be confused with the singer and sometimes actor Sting) and it was traditional wrestling entertainment with very clear boundaries of where it could or would go - but it fell down as quick as if it had been built upon the sand for foundations...
It is said in the Good Book that once one becomes a child of God, one must cast oneself aside from questionable crowds (I paraphrase). Well - I have had it, that is for damn sure - a long time ago as a matter of fact! The elder gentleman that Flair has become had to lower himself again - fight inside a steel cage against a much bigger and somewhat younger opponent that once was his "best friend" and who professes to have always idolized him... This "best friend" had struck his elder with a sledgehammer, thus causing the rift between them... imagine that: a sledgehammer! And then a screwdriver, driven into the forehead to draw blood! With such examples as this, no wonder youngsters are such runts nowadays. No wonder there is no respect! The saddest part is that this is almost acceptable - to strike so violently an older man one professes to admire - in comparison to past match-ups and feuds pitting father against son... father against daughter... uncle against nephew... brother against brother (ironically enough, the late Owen Hart versus his brother Bret...). Add the sleaze and redundancy factors... I have ample cause to boycott the crappy product - FOR LIFE! I have writing to do - no more time to waste watching cable crap for me! Quote the raven (not the wrestler) - NEVER MORE! 

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