Sunday, December 25, 2005
Tis the season for... trespassing, breaking and entering... and shaking in your booties as the quaking is going on too?!?
Arn Anderson (not his real name) used to say, when he was a member of the Four Horsemen of Sports Entertainment, that the way to greet someone who is trying to get into your home is by bashing him in the head "real bad"... I was readying myself to do just that recently - less than 24 hours ago in fact - as the unexpected happened... and the "test" was conclusive! I was very cool about the prospect of ending the year with some moron's blood all over my floor!
Lest it was Santa's not-so little helper, drunk and HIGH, that tried to force his way into my house last night at four in the morning! I was awaiting him, not with milk and cookies but with a weapon of fortune (that I shall leave unidentified; suffice it to say, the clubbing would have been severe! Hey - they do it to seals! POOR INNOCENT SEALS! Think I will show any mercy at all to some drunk junkie who obviously either has the WRONG DOOR... or was dispatched here, to test my mettle in some way...?!? NO WAY, HO-SAY! NO MERCY - and I don't expect any either! The "Heart of Gold Luminous Luciano" is DEAD - remember folks? The more practical one is already in effect... since last week at the very least!)
So - this nitwit is trying to barge in here, through the backdoor, 4 AM. - and I was NOT in the mood to be civil! This neighborhood has been going to heck for several years now - and I am about to go Dirty Harry on them all! As this individual was trying the door, in his high level of intoxication he did not see me dial 911... and he sure as heck did not see what I held in my hands, in case he DID GET IN... I even told the police dispatcher "send in the cavalry, or I will be forced to use what I am holding in my hands right now! And the guy won't be a pretty sight AFTER I AM THROUGH WITH HIM!". See... I am NOT about to be a "heart of gold" with the SCUM OF THE EARTH! And this guy sure does qualify - WHOEVER HE IS! He was seconds away from being dealt with accordingly... alas, FOR ONCE, the cops DID show up on time! TWAS A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE! A policeman and a policewoman maced him, handcuffed him and took him away... and then, a THIRD policeman complained to me THAT I WAS TOO LOUD?!? Trust me, folks, with the neighbours I have got - I CAN BE AS LOUD AS I WANT TO BE! They never sleep it seems... they are nocturnal, abysmal AND the diametrical opposite of a "know-it-all" (is that "know-nothing-at-alls"?!? *LOL* Yeah - that is another story). Aye, folks - I am as close as I ever was to embark on a career of VIGILANTISM! Justice is too slow on this Earth - people like ME, who have the right perception and discernment of things, CAN MAKE THINGS FASTER IN THAT DEPARTMENT! With the earthquake in Pakistan, a world away - I'd say that GOD Himself Is none too happy with us either (each time the Earth trembles, it is said to be when GOD Looks upon it with IRE... yes! I like that explanation much better than plate tectonics loose or something!) - however I felt not like blogging about THAT - you may read the article via the link provided here... No shaking in booties here though; I would actually enjoy a quake here! Last one we had was many years ago, lasted a mere few seconds and taught NO ONE a lesson at all! An earthquake would add an extra dimension to it - as I rumble with the buffoons found in these parts! Don't you think...? Oh... HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Link
Lest it was Santa's not-so little helper, drunk and HIGH, that tried to force his way into my house last night at four in the morning! I was awaiting him, not with milk and cookies but with a weapon of fortune (that I shall leave unidentified; suffice it to say, the clubbing would have been severe! Hey - they do it to seals! POOR INNOCENT SEALS! Think I will show any mercy at all to some drunk junkie who obviously either has the WRONG DOOR... or was dispatched here, to test my mettle in some way...?!? NO WAY, HO-SAY! NO MERCY - and I don't expect any either! The "Heart of Gold Luminous Luciano" is DEAD - remember folks? The more practical one is already in effect... since last week at the very least!)
So - this nitwit is trying to barge in here, through the backdoor, 4 AM. - and I was NOT in the mood to be civil! This neighborhood has been going to heck for several years now - and I am about to go Dirty Harry on them all! As this individual was trying the door, in his high level of intoxication he did not see me dial 911... and he sure as heck did not see what I held in my hands, in case he DID GET IN... I even told the police dispatcher "send in the cavalry, or I will be forced to use what I am holding in my hands right now! And the guy won't be a pretty sight AFTER I AM THROUGH WITH HIM!". See... I am NOT about to be a "heart of gold" with the SCUM OF THE EARTH! And this guy sure does qualify - WHOEVER HE IS! He was seconds away from being dealt with accordingly... alas, FOR ONCE, the cops DID show up on time! TWAS A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE! A policeman and a policewoman maced him, handcuffed him and took him away... and then, a THIRD policeman complained to me THAT I WAS TOO LOUD?!? Trust me, folks, with the neighbours I have got - I CAN BE AS LOUD AS I WANT TO BE! They never sleep it seems... they are nocturnal, abysmal AND the diametrical opposite of a "know-it-all" (is that "know-nothing-at-alls"?!? *LOL* Yeah - that is another story). Aye, folks - I am as close as I ever was to embark on a career of VIGILANTISM! Justice is too slow on this Earth - people like ME, who have the right perception and discernment of things, CAN MAKE THINGS FASTER IN THAT DEPARTMENT! With the earthquake in Pakistan, a world away - I'd say that GOD Himself Is none too happy with us either (each time the Earth trembles, it is said to be when GOD Looks upon it with IRE... yes! I like that explanation much better than plate tectonics loose or something!) - however I felt not like blogging about THAT - you may read the article via the link provided here... No shaking in booties here though; I would actually enjoy a quake here! Last one we had was many years ago, lasted a mere few seconds and taught NO ONE a lesson at all! An earthquake would add an extra dimension to it - as I rumble with the buffoons found in these parts! Don't you think...? Oh... HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
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No kidding now...
It is like NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD in these parts now! Pretty soon, I will have to fight my way OUT and BACK IN of the house (!)... amongst hordes of STONED ZOMBIES HERE!!!
I can't take this anymore!
Garlic won't ward them off either(like they did in THE LAST MAN ON EARTH with Vincent Price... the movie that was then remade into THE OMEGA MAN, with Charlton Heston...!)
I NEED SOME AMMO!
*LOL*
It is like NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD in these parts now! Pretty soon, I will have to fight my way OUT and BACK IN of the house (!)... amongst hordes of STONED ZOMBIES HERE!!!
I can't take this anymore!
Garlic won't ward them off either(like they did in THE LAST MAN ON EARTH with Vincent Price... the movie that was then remade into THE OMEGA MAN, with Charlton Heston...!)
I NEED SOME AMMO!
*LOL*
Speaking of Vincent Price... he was mentioned in "Twisted History" today... ironically...
""If Mr. Vincent Price were to be co-starred with Miss Bette Davis in a story by Mr. Edgar Allan Poe directed by Mr. Roger Corman, it could not fully express the pent-up violence and depravity of a single day in the life of the average family.
-- Quentin Crisp, born today, 1908""
Sounds truer in 2005 than it did in 1950...
""If Mr. Vincent Price were to be co-starred with Miss Bette Davis in a story by Mr. Edgar Allan Poe directed by Mr. Roger Corman, it could not fully express the pent-up violence and depravity of a single day in the life of the average family.
-- Quentin Crisp, born today, 1908""
Sounds truer in 2005 than it did in 1950...
Luce,
That is horrable what happened! I am glad you were there to protect your family! I am glad the one time you really needed the cops that they DID show up!
I know that they have been lazy no good excuses for humans when it comes to doing what they should!
Thank God you were there and able to fend off the intruder! I am glad you nor your parents got hurt!
God Bless You Luce!
((HUGE HUGS))
Countess
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That is horrable what happened! I am glad you were there to protect your family! I am glad the one time you really needed the cops that they DID show up!
I know that they have been lazy no good excuses for humans when it comes to doing what they should!
Thank God you were there and able to fend off the intruder! I am glad you nor your parents got hurt!
God Bless You Luce!
((HUGE HUGS))
Countess
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