Thursday, January 05, 2006
Of Lost Causes And Cussing Over It...
And, for today's curse, we have on the menu... the Curse of Billy Penn! Not to be confused with Billy Goat - indeed. Billy Penn is really a STATUE - not even a living thing! No ordinary scapegoat this one - and even if pigeons have their way with it, it has considerable pride, evidently. No building was to exceed the height of this statue - and when a glass tower was built that dwarfed it considerably, trouble began for all major league teams based in Philadelphia! Only two minor league teams have escaped this wrath of William Penn's statue; the Philadelphia Wings (Lacrosse) and the Philadelphia Phantoms (fittingly) of the AHL...
Gee... William Penn - Billy P for short (?) - really takes the concept of idolatry of a graven image to a whole new level... Belief in this particular curse is empowering a mere chunk of metal, sculpted in the form of a long-deceased man, and attributing it with the power to change the course of events... and the destiny of would-be champions!
The facts are though that the Sixers, Eagles, Flyers and Phillies are all lost causes prone to choke at any given time - like so many other lost causes out there that, strangely enough, do rally some support... online anyway.
We can find some of the oddest petitions on the web - clamoring for more of the one-hit wonders of the past... claiming that there is some wide demand for it, when most times there is not. Everyone needs a crusade I suppose...
However, as far as Philly is concerned - no one but Allen Iverson is responsible for not carrying the Sixers to the NBA Finals. No one except Terrell Owens (hmm... all things "T.O." are going down the tubes... eh?) is responsible for dissolving any potential for greatness that the NFL's Eagles had... The Flyers' GM, Bobby Clarke, is widely known for always making the WRONG MOVES when he is attempting to "improve" his team... And the Phillies... well, the Phillies just suck consistently, year after year, season after season... One has to almost admire such consistency nowadays, in an ever-changing and thus highly-confusing world!
And, although William Penn is okay with it, the Philadelphia Phantoms would never win it all if they met the Providence Bruins in the Finals... (if such a match-up was possible - of course). A vainglorious ghost who wants his statue to tower over all is no match -as far as "patron saint protectors" go- for Divine Providence Itself - nothing is! ;)
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*LOL* Yes... those petitions...
My favorite moments from them are:
Signee #329 Jesse Mateja: "Those Trix commercials are the WORST COMMERCIALS EVER! I have bunnies of my own and I have to change the channel whenever those damn commercials come on because they get upset! I’ll never support a company that is cruel to animals. Eat my shit General Mills!"
*LMAO*
And this one...
Petition Title: Are You For Or Against Jovialism?
To: The practicioners of Judaism, Christianity and Islam
What They Want: The petitioners, who are practicing “Jovialists,” believe that Muslims, Christians and Jews can’t all just get along so long as we all celebrate our Sabbaths on different days. Therefore, they endorse changing the official Sabbath of these three religions, and since they’ve selected “Thuesday” as their day of choice, they apparently endorse the creation of an entirely new day of the week. Ambitious folks, those Jovialists.
Signatures: Sadly, only 29
Radar’s Take: We’re going to go out on a limb here, and come down firmly behind world peace, but frankly, we’re just not convinced these nutty Jovialists are up to the task. It’s probably this whole “Thuesday” thing, which our best guess is a mysterious cross between Tuesday and Thursday, that somehow manages to avoid being Wednesday.
And I think I know one of the 29 who signed THIS one too - surely André Moreau must be among them. André Moreau is a famed champion of this "jovialiste" philosophy in Quebec, Canada... and the star-system there was so poor (or had such low standards) that he would get invited to a lot of things on TV and radio - talk-shows, game shows... you name it!
He has since sort of vanished from the airwaves; I'd figured he'd resurface on the internet, in one way or another!
André Moreau of course not to be confused with Jean-Guy Moreau, semi-retired impersonator extraordinaire... sequential art aficionado... Quebec-based stand-up comedian. Both Moreaus have the exact same knack for comedy delivery - but they are not even related!
Blessings!
And Hugs!
:)
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My favorite moments from them are:
Signee #329 Jesse Mateja: "Those Trix commercials are the WORST COMMERCIALS EVER! I have bunnies of my own and I have to change the channel whenever those damn commercials come on because they get upset! I’ll never support a company that is cruel to animals. Eat my shit General Mills!"
*LMAO*
And this one...
Petition Title: Are You For Or Against Jovialism?
To: The practicioners of Judaism, Christianity and Islam
What They Want: The petitioners, who are practicing “Jovialists,” believe that Muslims, Christians and Jews can’t all just get along so long as we all celebrate our Sabbaths on different days. Therefore, they endorse changing the official Sabbath of these three religions, and since they’ve selected “Thuesday” as their day of choice, they apparently endorse the creation of an entirely new day of the week. Ambitious folks, those Jovialists.
Signatures: Sadly, only 29
Radar’s Take: We’re going to go out on a limb here, and come down firmly behind world peace, but frankly, we’re just not convinced these nutty Jovialists are up to the task. It’s probably this whole “Thuesday” thing, which our best guess is a mysterious cross between Tuesday and Thursday, that somehow manages to avoid being Wednesday.
And I think I know one of the 29 who signed THIS one too - surely André Moreau must be among them. André Moreau is a famed champion of this "jovialiste" philosophy in Quebec, Canada... and the star-system there was so poor (or had such low standards) that he would get invited to a lot of things on TV and radio - talk-shows, game shows... you name it!
He has since sort of vanished from the airwaves; I'd figured he'd resurface on the internet, in one way or another!
André Moreau of course not to be confused with Jean-Guy Moreau, semi-retired impersonator extraordinaire... sequential art aficionado... Quebec-based stand-up comedian. Both Moreaus have the exact same knack for comedy delivery - but they are not even related!
Blessings!
And Hugs!
:)
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