Monday, January 16, 2006
No - it isn't the Curse of Woody Allen (which would be... what? If you're an actress, you'll have to play either his ex, his current or his future... only on ONE occasion did he cast an actress as something else... and it was as his ex's little-seen, next-to-no-screentime-at-all in fact, lesbian girlfriend...)
Today's "ultimate in curses" also isn't "the Curse of John Hughes" (all of his teen casts vanish into thin air afterwards - none to be "major" ever again!) nor is it "the Curse of Atuk" (a script for a certain eskimo part that was read by John Candy, John Belushi, Chris Farley and Sam Kinison - and all four of them died afterwards. Serious stuff... "The Incomparable Atuk" is originally a book by Mordecai Richler, published in 1963 and set in Toronto. It is now likely never to be made into a film due to its infamous reputation... Yes, comedians fear the Atuk curse now.)
It isn't "the curse of James Bond" for all the Bond Girls who promptly vanish into thin air too... It isn't "the curse of super-hero movies" - which invariably are too silly to watch twice. It isn't "the curse of remakes and sequels" - more an affliction though it is that all of Hollywood -bankrupt for ideas as it is- suffers from right now. It isn't "the Curse of The Crow" (which, anyway, appears to be only an extension of the curse on Bruce Lee's lineage...). It isn't "the curse of In The Heat Of The Night" (which is actually a TV curse - not a movies one! It still likely originated with Rod Steiger, I say...). It isn't "the curse of Star Wars" - which affects only moviegoers... It isn't "the curse of Star Trek", which demoralizes film investors, Paramount executives, all the creative talent involved, audiences AND "trekkies" alike...! It isn't even "the curse of the paranormal on TV" - which, with the track records of past and present series of The Outer Limits, The Twilight Zone, Night Gallery, Monsters, The X-Files, The Kindred, Kolchak The Night Stalker, The Others, The Lone Gunmen, Harsh Realm, Dark Shadows, Dark Angel, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Angel and the rest, has proven to be persistent in its career-stalling and genre-limitating...
Ironically, the actual movie that is the object of today's "curse analysis" did also spawn a TV series - though it was both short-lived and a bastard child of the movie franchise it bore the name of. The TV series was truly named "The Legacy" and had next to nothing in common with the three movies it tried to gain notoriety from... The three movies of the Poltergeist series - of course.
Nothing bad seems to have happened to the stars of the low-rated TV show "Poltergeist: The Legacy" (aside from permanent stygmas on their careers and résumés that is...!)
However, as far as the original cast of the 1982 FILM goes... "Poltergeist" seems to have been cursed indeed.
"In Poltergeist's case, the actors and actresses and one director who died prematurely include:
Dominique Dunne, 22-year-old actress who played the oldest sister Dana in the first movie, died after being stabbed and choked to death by a jealous boyfriend in 1982. The boyfriend was later convicted and sentenced to six years in prison.
Heather O'Rourke, 12-year-old actress who played Carol Anne in the three Poltergeist movies, died in 1988 after what doctors initially described as an acute form of a flu but later changed it to a septic shock after bacterial toxins invaded her bloodstreams.
Julian Beck, 60-year-old who played Kane in Poltergeist II: The Other Side, died of stomach cancer, with which he was diagnosed before he had accepted the role.
Will Sampson, 53 years old, Taylor The Medicine Man (also from Poltergeist II), died of post operative kidney failure and preoperative malnutrition problems.
Brian Gibson, 59 years old, died 4 January 2004 from Ewing's Sarcoma. He was the film director who directed Poltergeist II."
And there were more deaths: two more thespians (after normal lifespans and of natural causes) - JoBeth Williams' career and Craig T. Nelson's credibility!
Okay - I was being sarcastic with these last two bits there...
Heather O'Rourke's passing is especially perplexing and mysterious. All three movies had in their scripts the central theme that the souls of the dead wanted to get her and to keep her. And she would not complete the third film.
The rumors that the dead were disturbed and not happy with the production crew of this film are numerous - apparently, actual graves and actual human remains were messed with during the filming of the first film most specifically.
You simply DON'T DO THAT!
I have seen schoolboys wander into a cemetery and come out of there with a SKULL... using it as a SOCCER BALL. I believe these schoolboys have not had much luck in their lives since... They were slacker/dropout material anyway... with a definite "rebel without much of a cause at all" streak in them - and we saw yesterday what happens to those... didn't we? ;)
William Shakespeare, Edgar Allan Poe and Vincent Price were all prone to hold up a human cranium during their eloquent soliloquy-type of elocutions... however, I am sure that, during each instance, they were holding up fake skulls!
Poe was cursed though... but for other reasons!
There will likely not be another sequel in this series... then again, one never knows (what, with Hollywood being so idea-bankrupt indeed...) And if they go the remake route, hopefully they learned their lesson from the first time around... Gee, with CGI nowadays, YOU DON'T NEED ANY ON-SET PROPS ANYMORE!
Especially not those collected by the Gravedigger and the Cryptkeeper...!
One last and very important thing - it has finally come to my attention that the links I have sent you to all throughout this "series on curses" here have ads... rather sickening ads too!
Let it be known, here and now, that I do not and never did condone such crap as the "products" offered on spellmasters.com or extremespells.com - in fact, I loathe that stuff and find it extremely repugnant and sickening! Such abominations are the lowest of the low (yes, even lower than drugs, prostitution, thievery, murder and the like - COMBINED) and I would be the first one to sign up for the meticulous purging of these things from the web and from the world!
I always thought I would have chosen the same career as another fine young man, one Matthew Hopkins - and that it is just too bad to see this career option closed down to me! :(
Sublimely ironic that, upon doing a quick web search for the link here for Matthew Hopkins' name, the first hit was from... me! A mention of Sir Hopkins (no, not Anthony!) that I had made on a message board!
Irony like this fringes on being synchronicity - but is not, really...!
Blessings! Enough with the cursings! :)
And love me... hate me... whatever me... but you can NEVER say that my timing bites!
I make my stand as a fine successor to Matthew Hopkins... aka Witch Hunter Hopkins... today...
And today happens to be...
Religious Freedom Day!!!
Now before all of you wiccans come down on me like a ton of bricks (or a horde of furies... or a cast of rapacious hawks!)
LET ME CLARIFY!
I would gladly hunt down actual witches - evil incarnate... not pagan tree-huggers!
I said it a million times - I'll say it a zillion times ; WICCANS ARE HARMLESS!
True witches are EVIL.
I ABHOR EVIL!
I'd gladly eradicate it too!
Just hire me - will ya?
let me add this...
in re: religious freedom...
One can be free to choose his own religion
It is like one is free to choose what to have for dinner!
But a so-called "religion" that is all about dominating others, hurting them, casting spells on them in order to slowly destroy them... NO WAY!
Moot point nowadays anyway, since the only witch hunts they have anymore are political ones...
And the only "witches" that they have are Harry Potter... and nature nut wiccans!