Forget About That Corny Corner-Ribbon's Drivel! The Real Secret is HERE Indeed - not over there!

Saturday, June 10, 2006

it's good to be king...

As the great yet underrated Al Stewart once sang ~ "if I were the King of Portugal... would you obey my every whim? Would you do as I wish ~ if I were the King?" (Ok, I was paraphrasing there, through sheer memory; but that is the gist of that great song right there! Somebody out there just look up the song, lyrics and artist and see for yourself!)

Of course, most of us will never get to wear a crown of any kind - most of us will only "flirt with royalty" when we are "sitting on the throne" (which is, by the way, the tasteful, distinguished, sardonic and refined way to refer to that most basic of needs - Benny boy! I hope you're reading this and taking notes; otherwise, your dismal numbers in terms of customerbase will only be getting worse and worse, as time goes by... For no one likes a brutish individual, whether he comes with a diploma or not! Hmm, "as time goes by" - that's another lyric from another unforgettable song! But I digress...)

Today's link, subservientchicken.com, does give one a little taste of what being a king is all about. It could not be any other way since this is an offering from the ever-generous Burger King himself - the one king willing to share with the commoner his lifestyle and alleged daily diet... We are talking of the one true BK here, of course, and note "rasslin's" version of it, Jerry "the King" Lawler, who is only referred to as "burger king" in derision by the fans because of his waistline... Not that the one true Burger King is such a saintly regal person, mind you - many kids still have nightmares due to their exposure to his OTHER site dedicated to the mind-reading prowess of one Darth Vader with whom BK seemed to have struck an unholy alliance with... Yes, THIS king is in cahoots with the dark side, kids (the dark side of the Force, yes, but also the dark side - period! Selling you those sandwiches and passing them for nutritious grub is simply not right... but I digress.)
Hmm... that whole alliance bit is but shades of the old feudal days, when royalty would strike unwise deals with dark lords and barbarians even, all in order to protect their kingdoms and, mostly, their own crowned heads! Oh, well - it must be the origin of the expression "a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do" - that *other* most inane of expressions that opens the door to almost all manners of behaviour and excuses for such misbehaving... I suppose that BK is making amends now, with his bird flu-free subservient sandwich filler here... And that in itself is quite laudable (I did say "laudable" - not "laughable" now!) and praise-worthy indeed! I mean, you don't see the killer clown, the crusty colonel or the little square nerdy girl without a conscience do anything of the sort to redeem themselves, do you now...? Think about that this week-end as you indulge once more in these fast-food guilty pleasures so favored in the warmer season...
I wonder if the Shadowy Group of groups that is meeting amid secrecy in Ottawa this week-end will go for fast food... mexican... chinese... or the gourmet caterer's choice, under extremely severe supervision, of course!
The choice is clear, gentlemen - as clear as the bill will be, dear berg!

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