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Monday, July 17, 2006

'Em Are Fighting Words There...!!!

Did I ever relate to you the fantabulous story of "my greatest ''foight'' that wasn't" - hmm? (Feel free to chant "fight! fight! fight!" all throughout your reading of the following, why don't you... you know you want to!)

I raised my voice, in light of "an injustice" as you might say... Mind you, as with Zidane's "injustice" perpetrated by Materazzi, this was a "minor injustice" - but when it is happening, we don't care nor do we see such dichotomy. It does seem like the gravest crime in the world! It seems more like a MAJOR annoyance in hindsight... Yet, it is nothing but WORDS... And what's that expression that Zinedine should take to heart more than even I should? "La pluie des injures n'atteindra pas le parapluie de ma..."? Hmm... "Le parapluie de mon..."? Zut alors...! Let's play at "you complete the phrase" for a second - shall we? E-mail me or comment the last word that should go there, at the end of that sentence between parentheses and win... absolutely nothing!

So then... I raised my voice with this guy.
He raised his voice back.
We argued and then - we grabbed each other by the collar and raised our respective free fist...
We both thought the same thing then - I could see it in my quarry's eyes!
We both wanted to hit first - but not with the witnesses around us who'd then say it to the police later on!
We both did NOT want to be hit first - but we knew it was the price to pay for NOT being the instigator - and then all that would follow would be deemed "in self-defense"...

Clearly, we both saw ourselves as the eventual victor here - but I know I had the edge because I was not going to pull any punches...!

Yet... in the end... we did not make a move!
And the fleeting seconds that our hesitation lasted was all that was required for the "spectators" to intervene and break it up... before it began!

See, I'll give credit where it is due - even to the scum of the earth if need be! My quarry here was not the scummiest I've ever seen though - he is but a BLUTO (which means that I was his Popeye? Hmm... how can that be? Since I am bigger and I don't squint an eye! But I digress...) and still he THOUGHT BEFORE HE ACTED FOOLISHLY! So did I - but this is me: the thinking man's hot-tempered warrior!

Zinedine Zidane did not think - and I bet you that Luis Figo would have not reacted the same way with so much on the line! Figo would have, instead, sought out Materazzi AFTER THE GAME, EITHER IN THE LOCKER ROOM OR THE PARKING LOT! And THEN - and only then - anything goes!

I suggest thinking before acting - always in every situation - and not let emotion overrun reason. When that is impossible, there better not be any witnesses around because, to pay for what you do to a foul-mouthed piece of scum after he ran his mouth one too many times - now THAT is a serious injustice!

True, even the coolest among us will lose their temper and throw to the wind any caution in re: possible repercussions of one's actions... I can count on the fingers of ONE HAND the times that my saintly, patient father did that though. And, knowing myself as I do, on certain days or nights, depending which way the wind blows or what configuration the moon has, I might have committed murder already when faced with such scum of the earth as my father and Zidane have seen stand before them...
And I assure you that I am no LOBEZHOMEM!

Then again, I like it more than anything in the world to confound adversaries with my way with words and undefeatable debater prowess, face-to-face, as I did with a certain Dr. Marsolais to name but ONE... And to beat him up to a pulp, as he apparently was, fictitiously, in his capacity as a "non-speaking part extra" years ago in a forgettable mini-series called Music-Hall... Well, that would have turned out to be a very fleeting victory and, in the end, only an extra source of frustration as I would have surely been arrested for assault, prosecuted, condemned, fined or incarcerated if I refused to pay the fine, which I surely would have... Because, I can tell you all right now, a simple head-butt would have not sufficed...! But I digress... :)

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