Forget About That Corny Corner-Ribbon's Drivel! The Real Secret is HERE Indeed - not over there!

Monday, August 28, 2006

Emmy - ami? That is NOT the question...

I am allowed the use of French, more than ever, as, it appears, some so-called experts (of what? Of fluff, I say) have used it last night during their coverage of an umpteenth "un-event" - the Emmy awards ceremony... En effet, fashion "expert" Ms. London (can't recall, for the life of me, her first name) thought so much of insipid ditzy blonde actress Jaime Pressley's get-up that she took the liberty to apostrophe her name... "J'aime" instantly says either "I like" or "I love"... She did, and I... couldn't care less actually!

Same expert remarked that the predominant color on the red carpet was (no, not the carpet's color but really...) purple! Hence, once again, I find justification for the umpteenth use of my prefered font color here, on this day's blog post, at least...!

TLB Prime - covering the Emmys? TLB Prime - catering to the masses who, passively, ogle the so-called "stars" and dream of "the life"...? TLB Prime - lowering itself to the level of E-Talk, Access Hollywood, E.T., Flash (the lesser known of them all - thank God) and other so-called "cultural magazines", no matter what media they employ...? Ah - hardly. There has to be a bigger, greater and more significant reason why I would bother with the Tinseltown TV fluff crowd and the following is it...

First, I must applaud NBC's initiative to push the airing of this "un-event" three weeks earlier - usually, it conflicts with the commemorations of 9/11 and, you will all recall, in 2001, it had been scheduled to be held the very week-end following the tragic event. It had been rescheduled twice rather than once before it finally aired. This year being, of course, the 5th anniversary marking the tragedy - a movie having just come out on the dire subject too, abnormally starring former Con Air protagonist, recent 'Bringing Out The Dead' lead and soon-to-be 'Ghost Rider' too, Nicholas Cage; truly an odd casting choice when you look at it under this perspective - the luminous perspective! Oliver Stone must have been trying to console Nic Cage for having missed out on being Superman - when the role just returned to the big screen (to a rather mild reception - Lord, how will they make up all those millions now, down at Warner Bros? But that is another tragic story in itself...) and even Ben Affleck gets to be the man of steel, by proxy, playing the suicidal/murdered George Reeves in "Hollywoodland" - part of Hollywood's latest "twin projects" syndrome relapse - lest it is a new affliction that reeks of necrophilia (The Black Dahlia coming out simultaneously and all... But I digress)

Hence, NBC will likely do as every other broadcaster will do in the coming ten to fourteen days - spend all of their time remembering the Twin Towers. Hopefully they will find five seconds to think of the third plane that crashed that day too...
NBC, for all of its goodness and kindness on the airwaves, committed a major booboo in the order of quasi-heartlessness though - oddly enough during the initial few seconds of the Emmy Awards broadcast too! Kentucky folks did not appreciate their insensitiveness at allowing Conan O'Brien's skit during the opening minutes to go through, uncut... In it, O'Brien boards a plane that crashes (though off-screen) and he lands on the island where the NBC series "Lost" is shot, meeting a cast member of that show there (the only one who'd go along with O'Brien, I'm sure, and, alas for O'Brien, it wasn't Evangeline Lilly who is pictured twice here, looking dazzling in her purple dress from Versace, expressly for the Emmys too... Sheesh. Not that one can tell, from either pic, what she's wearing at all though...)
The thing about Kentucky and planes crashing at this time is the recent tragedy over there, where a commuter jet crashed into a field and burst into flames, killing all aboard except a co-pilot.
This had, in fact, taken place on the same day. The NBC executives overseeing the live telecast of the Emmy award show had no clue whatsoever about what happened down in Kentucky earlier on? They could not blackout only a minute of their precious presentation, to spare sensitivities, toshow respect...? Forty-nine lives were gone, just like that, in Kentucky on Sunday - what's that to NBC network executives? Not even a bleep in the ratings - right? A nice quote at this time would be from Tim Gilbert, the general manager of NBC's Lexington, Ky., affiliate, WLEX...
"We wish somebody had thought this through. It's somewhere between ignorance and incompetence." Indeed.

Speaking of some "i and i" - the Spellings. The Spelling dynasty, verily - as glamourous (well, almost - Linda Evans and Heather Locklear are hard to match...) and as infamous too as the good old classic Dynasty clan... The mother and the son of the late legendary producer Aaron Spelling were seated at one end of the audience - and Tori "not-so-torrid" Spelling was at the other end of it, with her husband-du-jour... Even on Dynasty, they wouldn't be so foolish or cruel. Reuniting stars from Aaron's hit shows - especially the original Charlie's Angels; Kate Jackson, Jaclyn Smith and Farrah Fawcett - was a nice touch. But the Spellings' attitude over the ESTATE AND WHO GETS WHAT AMOUNT OF MOOLAH ruined the moment.

Far more touching were the Pivens. Jeremy Piven honored the memory of his dad as he also honored his mom, present there, in the audience, as he won an award for his role in the heavily-aquaman influenced, Tinseltown mock-a-thon HBO hit Entourage...
Jeremy Piven is a family guy, who knows what fmaily truly means and also the meaning of "respect your elders" - I can only hope that he is not like Kevin Spacey. Well, nobody's perfect... Piven though, being associated with Aquaman rather than Superman (as Spacey was this summer, playing Lex Luthor) - I'd think that there's more hope for Jeremy than there is for Kevin! I never met a Kevin I didn't dislike, to tell the truth - this goes out to Kevin T of Halifax (the T is for turd, yes) - but I am willing to admit that there are exceptions to most every rule...

To end on a "glamour note" - aside from Evangeline, the Scrubs' own Sarah Chalke proved that she was no tomboy with all that lace she wore (the other dominant thing that night - aye, twas purple and lace! And sore losers - but that is predominant on any award show they ever have!)
It was embarrassing to hear a certain actor's wife admit to having a crush on another actor. It was ten times more embarrassing to listen to the Access Hollywood bimbo who held a mike asking said wife "if you had a free pass, that would be it, right?"
Luminous perspective on it: the actor was renowned for being the "everyman geek" in his younger days, as he began in the business in his teens. He was, most notably, quite the pizza delivery boy, as original Charlie's Angel Kate Jackson would recall fondly too... (Love it when it all comes together like this in the end - don't you?)
Morale of all this: once a geek, always and forevermore hard to shed the geekiness... Even if you get the dream part of a TV doctor with "dreamy" in your character's very NAME...

Oh - and Conan O'Brien makes for a funny host of these type of things. "Un-events" and him go hand in hand - like a sports event and a heckler or a garage sale and a hawker. Much funnier than David Letterman - just ask Jay Leno. And much, much funnier than Jon Stewart - just ask Stephen Colbert, who was in the audience and was, in fact, in stitches. And taking notes.
On how to be funny, y'know...

I would be remiss if I did not mention the apparent lifting of the "Seinfeld curse"...

But then again, Kramer and George were, logically, perfect subjects for an ongoing curse...

It stands to reason that "the broad" on that show is the one who comes through and prevails -somewhat- despite said curse...

Julia Louis-Dreyfus is still very much "cursed" in her own right though, I am sure...

Other scribes covered that anyway - I needn't bother with it - although one of TLB Prime's most famous moments was when I round out all the major curses on consecutive posts/days here...

Maybe I found that creating a new blog just for that was excessive - "the curses blog" or "cursing blog" is just not a nice addition to my network here - at all.
You've read my piece.
Now read Ryan's.


And The Emmy For Worst Mother/Daughter Chemistry Goes To.
28/08/2006 8:32:00 AM

Tori Spelling Attends The Emmys, Even Though Her Mom Wants To Send Her To An Orphanage

by Ryan Porter

(gee - so good it has to come with THREE TITLES?!?)

The Aaron Spelling tribute at last night's Emmys went off without any slaps between feuding mother and daughter Candy and Tori Spelling, but there were some delicate tears from Candy. Us Weekly reported that Tori's Emmy invitation came last Thursday, just three days before the big broadcast, amid speculation that Candy was scheming to keep Tori out of the ceremony. One rumour said Candy was restricting access to the Spelling archives so the producers could not use footage of Tori as Donna Martin on Beverly Hills 90210.

A spokesman for Candy told the Los Angeles Times, "Everyone is giving Candy Spelling too much credit. She's been accused of running the network, producing the Emmys and deciding who can and can't come."

Tori, who's inheritance from the legendary television producer reportedly came in at a much lower than expected US $800,000 and who has been photographed hanging out in front of pawn shops with neon signs that read We Buy Gold, was only featured in the tribute during a snap flash taken from the 90210 opening credit sequence and in a cast photo of Aaron and the 90210 cast, in which Tori was pretty much invisible, standing on the far right edge.

I would have loved to hear Tori give a tribute to her dad. "I would just like to say that," emotional inhale, "my dad would be SICK at how you monsters have treated me. Especially you, mom." And then they could have naturally transitioned into a commercial. That's what Aaron Spelling would have done. Oh well. Instead of an awards show outburst, Tori appeared icily composed under the cameras with her personal Ken, Canadian husband Dean McDermott, sitting at her side. Candy, meanwhile, was dabbing at her puppy dog eyes with a handkerchief on several occasions.

So if not Tori, who did get to talk? Dynasty's Joan Collins, 7th Heaven's Steven Collins, Melrose Place's Heather Locklear and the Charlie's Angels ladies. I fell asleep between Joan Collins and Farrah Fawcett, but shook myself awake long enough to see Kiefer Sutherland win Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama, his first win out of eight nominations.

The funniest speech was by Julia Louise Dreyfuss, who won for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy. "I'm not someone who believes in curses, but curse this!" she said, shaking her Emmy skywards. She was wearing a vesty thing beneath her boobs that looked like a "bro."

Best of all was man-giant Conan O'Brien as the host. He locked Bob Newhart in a transparent container and warned that if the Emmys went over three hours, it would run out of air. To keep things moving briskly, he asked people not comment on how heavy the award is. "Of course it's heavy," he said. "It contains the shattered dreams of four other people."

When Conan presented the award for Outstanding Comedy to The Office, it was accepted by Conan's former roommate and Office executive producer Greg Daniels who said they always dreamed that Conan would host the Emmys and Greg would win an Emmy. "And we'd lose our virginity. Tonight, I hope it comes true."

What do you think? Email

I think it should have been "Tori, whose inheritance..." on top of the third paragraph there...

That's what I think!

Did I do a booboo?
Or a typo, really!

Typographical errors happen...

I wrote "Jeremy Piven is a family guy, who knows what fmaily truly means"

Ah, good for him!

I wrote it, and, at first, I had no idea what "fmaily" meant myself!

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