Forget About That Corny Corner-Ribbon's Drivel! The Real Secret is HERE Indeed - not over there!

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Statistics Sundays - Luminous Edition - With Bite!

I HAVE COME TO FIND OUT THAT WEALTH ACQUISITION WITHOUT CHRIST IS VANITY.
5 OUT OF 10 PEOPLE IN TODAY'S SOCIETY WILL FIND OUT THE EXACT SAME THING IN THE COURSE OF THEIR EARTHLY LIVES. THE OTHER 5 WILL REMAIN MATERIALISTIC UNTIL THE DAY THEY DIE AND SHED THEIR... AH... MATERIAL FORMS. THEY WILL REMAIN SO BECAUSE THEY ARE EITHER REALTORS, IN RETAIL OR FORTUNE-SEEKERS... NOT SEEKERS OF ENLIGHTENMENT.

In other assorted stats:
* Obtuse men and women will remain so in 79% of cases worldwide - as "obtuseness" does not get better nor does it fade away with the alleged "wisdom of the years" accumulation... Quite the opposite process occurs, in fact...
* Evil, cold hearts of stone remain so - and, in fact, grow colder still - all throughout their sorry existence in 99.9% of repertoriated *genuine* cases...
* If you don't know what's good for you at age 30, odds are you still won't know by the time you reach 40... and 50... and 60... and... die! (Because you will not get to be older than that - if you even reach that mark - for you will likely be a smoker, and so...)
* 2 out of 3 ignorants ignore the fact that they are ignorant.
* 9 out of 10 know-it-alls know not at all all there is to know but still act as if they know all there is to know... All is but vanity - not knowledge at ALL.
* 7 out of 9 trekkies are envious of the Force.
* Jealousy, envy and its cousins are responsible for 99.9% of all the evil deeds perpetrated since the dawn of time on the mudball where you presently rest the soles of your feet, folks...
* One could think of the last nine Star Trek films as "evil deeds" too... But of a weaker force (no pun intended...)
* 75% of Canadians are embarrassed by William Shatner - the other 25% are his bastard offspring...
* 86% of Bostonians ignore that "Mr. Spock" Leonard Nimoy is a local - on the other hand, they've all read Dr. Benjamin Spock's books...
* 93% of dead doctors are less famous than Dr. Benjamin Spock - they deserve no better...
* 100% of today's medical staff are less in it for "the good that they do" than they are in it for "the social prestige" of being a doctor... As for nurses, they're all planning to go into the private sector and double or triple their salaries from the public sector, so... You figure out the percentage in THEIR case...!
* 100% of the "thinking man's patients" think that their medical staffs suck and that they'd be better off with robotic nurses and MEDIC-O-TRONS for quicker and more accurate diagnoses AND treatments...
* 100% of patients believe that the day will never come when nurses are replaced by robots - they'd sooner see chimps dressed up as health attendants...!
* 100% of patients expect to see their heavenly attendants that much sooner, all things considered...
* 100% of this blog's readers must be having a headache right about now...
* The odds are about as good that this blog's author has a migraine too...
* Chances are excellent that these are the last words I type for this post anyhow... (And they are).


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