Forget About That Corny Corner-Ribbon's Drivel! The Real Secret is HERE Indeed - not over there!

Monday, January 29, 2007


You guys have heard about the nWo - the nwa - the awa - the nba - the nhl - mlb - ovw - wcw - ecw - wwa - wwe - the wwf... Well, none of these compares in the slightest way to the lwf!

The lwf and bjn -both- pretend to know aaaaall about salvation... aaaaaall about it!
Yes - I'll be a paperboy/barker for a day (lest it is - a hawker? But never a huckster - no!) and I'll shout out the magic words: learn aaaaaaaall about it!!!

Hmm... Can any man really know all about these holier-than-holy elements?

The slightly tongue-in-cheek style of the quizzes found on the lwf's site makes one wonder... Recently this was the question they asked to their very own luminous visitors:
"With which of these Biblical characters would you like to have a conversation?"
And the options offered were:
Simon Peter
Hmm... What is Eve doing there? Why not have Adam as well? Or Abel... And Cain while you're at it! Throw in Judas Iscariot why don't you - after all, Mel Gibson believes that he is the "most faithful apostle"...! Mel is a Hollywood star - he must know what he's talking about! Hey - he's a Lethal Weapon! He's Mad Max! Ok - I am digressing now - yet again! Sorry! :(
But what is the interest of speaking with Eve? If you're a woman, you might want to ask her "why did you have to make it so that child-bearing is so darn difficult for us all?!?"
And if you're a man, you will hope that she gives you an apple - is that it?
An apple - not an iPod now! ;)

I find it pretentious from Jehovah's Witnesses, random Bible students, Christadelphians, gurus-r-us and their like to profess to KNOW IT ALL - and to be able to tell the rest of us "aaaaaaaall about it"...!
Televangelists act arrogantly - they are smug in their demeanor - and THAT is simply NOT how a man of God should be!
(Or woman of God - granted! Hello there, Joyce Meyers! ;)

And when they revert to being showmen - their preaching being much more like stand-up comedy rather than actual Gospel-spreading - I actually have the opposite reaction to that which they hope to trigger; I stop listening!

There is a time and a place for everything - showmanship should come before or after. Not that a sense of humor cannot be manifested at all times; it does enliven things up quite a bit - but if "entertainment" is the way touted as the safest means to reach out to a bored and blasé audience, then it has to be done properly. And that is not by mixing genres! Educational entertainment is still the best method; a multi-mediatic presentation that shows and doesn't merely tell about Christ and how to follow Him! But the Meyereses, Hinns, Robertsons, Grahams and other "ministers" know it would cost too much moolah to put together...
So they would rather bank on their own spectacle, à-la-Comedy-Central Night at the Improv...
Most of them would not have succeeded as stand-up comedians though, so much is clear. There would have been no developmental TV deals for sitcoms that would repeatedly air via syndication or through a myriad specialty channels, even years after production has ceased... There would have been zilch - nothing - nada for these guys, if comedy was their sole and unique thing...! They are lucky that the faithful are an indulgent audience - one that also embraces sub-par singing talent - all to please Christ and praise His Name...!

When all is said and done though, these so-called ministries are not truly advancing Christ's Cause as much as they are providing a career and steady remuneration for themselves and their buddies...!
So many things have been done in Christ's Name, you know...!
Oh, well - He Is Keeping Score! ;)

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