Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Everyone knows that Cupid is a fraud - on par with Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny, evidently - and yet, as with the other three miscreants, people keep on "pretending", year after year, time after time, every 14th of February... (Hence I choose to *officially* expose it one day early, here, on TLB Prime! ;)
"Ow, " will say the sappy suitor to his beloved out of the blue, "I think I've been stung by Cupid's arrow just now - and it was pointing at YOU!"
In reality, of course, the poor sap stung himself on the derrière on one of those gazillion plastic forks that get thrown in the garbage each year, by people "on the go" just like him, who will likewise catch love on the go as well... He is therefore, all at once, fooling himself, fooling her and contributing strongly to polluting the environment! And we haven't even gotten to the health hazards and just as wasteful behavior that comes with out-of-control chocolate consumption at these times of the year...! Truly, no matter which way you look at it, danger awaits in one form or another...! So much for "building a future" together - you're throwing it all away, along with those plastic utensils and chocolate wrappings!!!
The worst part is yet to come though: see what the alleged Valentine is saying, up there? He is showing his true colors all right: possessiveness, greed, lust, probably wrath if he doesn't get his way... None of those are nice traits, you know! Not befitting of a Romeo - at all! Nor are they fit for a Juliet, for that matter...! I think even Don Juan De Marco wasn't written like that - and Giacomo Casanova was not possessive one iota either! The saint whose reputation is tarnished to this day with all this and whose name is run through the chocolate mousse in the process (Valentine, duh!) bore none of those traits either (re-duh!). He couldn't, for crying out loud - he is a saint!!!
No, my friends and fellow L.O.V.s (need I remind you: Luminous Online Visitors!) - the answer is plain as day but none see it! CUPID IS THE CULPRIT! From his name we got CUPIDITY indeed - stop pretending not to see it and DUMP the little booger! Stick his chocolate-dipped arrows up his derrière and say "NO MORE" to the annoying fallen cherub, lustchild of the prince of lies, assuredly...! (Oh yeah, he's a fallen angel, there's no doubt about that! He leads not people to love but to all sorts of excesses; plus, chocolate is so darn expensive these days! *lol*)
Aye, my brethren - ditch the cupid one - he is cupidity personnified and we all know that "if you love somebody - set them free!" (The gospel according to... uh... Sting? Hmm... Choosing the devil you know is not the way to go here - anyway, Sting is reduced to reuniting with The Police these days; just like Don Henley rejoined The Eagles' flock... That means only one thing: his career is finished! At least Sting had not said that "hell would freeze over before a reunion happens" - however, Sting had exasperated his drummer, Stewart Copeland, enough that the latter wanted to beat him up back in the 80's! Hence proving that he is no better than Cupid - anyway, never trust someone that has no last name!!! Five-letter words are good for greeting people but not to wear as your name! That goes double for composite names actually; those made up of numbers and four-letter words...!)
Still - I would ditch Cupid anyway - if I were you! ;)
You can do it, people! You broke the Tooth Fairy's heart - now stick it to the fake instiller of "love"... will ya?!?