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Wednesday, February 28, 2007



I am sure everyone knows exactly what this is going to be all about - as much as I am sure that every regular reader or visitor to this blog expected my irate take on this whole affair... Sooner rather than later!

Well, as the saying goes, be careful what you wish for

Case in point, first and LEAST of all: James Cameron.

Here is a film director whose best work is clearly BEHIND HIM. (Always films that begin with a "T" as it turns out; Terminator, The Abyss, Titanic... What else did he do? Oh, that's right; Piranha Two! ;)

His descent into the infernos began with his Dark Angel (who grew up to become, of all things, the Fantastic Four's Sue Storm - soon to be replaced in her own team by... Storm, who, being black, would have probably been a better "Dark Angel" to begin with! These sort of mass-appeal/low-denominator works of fiction have these ways of going full circle like that, oftentimes... The French call it "tourner en rond" though... But I digress...) And then, Cameron wound up ever lower - making cameos on Entourage!

It was predictable that, now, he would sink ever lower into his own self-made personal abyss (!) and make ill-conceived shock-documentaries destined to be on par in television lore with the "alien autopsy" and the unearthing of Al Capone's buried treasures...

All T-1000s must be shaking their mechanical heads in disbelief over this...

(You laugh - but Termi is a great believer than Cameron ever will be - according to this Mad TV skit he is, anyway! Cameron? He's an adulterer! And, quite frankly, I am surprised he wasn't mauled by the Beast since he caused such chagrin to bipolar Linda Hamilton... The one that we should worry about now, though, is poor Suzy Amis, one could think - but why bother, eh? But I am digressing again... And Linda is better off now also... As are Kathryn Bigelow, Gale Anne Hurd, Sharon Williams...! Gee - the man's a serial alimony volunteer...?!? Maybe The Almighty Will Have Mercy on his soul...? )

Your participation in HBO's Entourage was meant to say that you thought poorly of the rest of Hollywood, Cameron? Point well-taken and entirely justifiable - they gave you an undeserved Oscar for Titanic, didn't they? They deserve to be bashed - and T.P. (Tinseltown Politics) deserve to be bashed without a hint of mercy too... Alas, by producing a so-called "documentary" on the ossuary and tomb found somewhere in the Holy Land - and trying to insinuate that those are the remains of the Greatest Man to ever walk this foul planet... (Even though you're really the second to do so - and some guy wrote a BOOK on that as well - in the D. Brown style, no less! But I digress...) Well, THAT alone makes you worse than all of Tinseltown's hypocrites COMBINED, Jim!

You ain't right in the head, Jim!
(Did "Bones" ever say it succinctly like that to Kirk on that awful TV show from yesteryear that I am STILL subjected to, whenever I zap through "specialty channels", at light speed to try to avoid as much exposure as possible... Aye, that's my idea of trekking! As a kid, I wasn't so fortunate - I couldn't zap! :(
I survived, still - somehow! ;)
Ohh - I just alienated a bunch of aliens who worship that Paramount-produced crap as if it really meant anything at all... Live with it!
You represent, what - 3% of Earth's population? Even though Faith has been dwindling, I believe that Christiandom represents substantially more people than that - and nobody hesitates twice before alienating them! And let's re-establish the facts right now: Christians = significant religion and admirable way of life. Trekkies = insignificant folly and ridiculous waste of time! You probably go gaga over Termi too, don't you? Sheesh... I can't believe they're making another film to quell your synthetic passions... Now that should have been directed by Cameron - eh? Oh, that's right - he produced this "documentary" because he's tired of people NOT seeing his films; so no Trek go for him, under those conditions!)

So, back to our true offender here;
You claim that you made it not for the profit of it, Jim, just as you state (the obvious) that you are neither a theologist nor an archeologist but a "documentary film maker"...
I'm sorry - "Titanic" was a documentary...? Okaaaay... It's news to me! Dark Angel was a documentary on night life and freaks on the streets then - right?
Besides - this so-called "documentary" was directed by some twit protégé of yours named Simcha Jacobovivi - you didn't "make" this one, Jim!
Simcha - not to be confused with the Lion King - hails from Toronto... A town recognized for its putrefying artistic sense and declining values! No morals and no ethics were thus PRE-REQUISITES to direct this sort of garbage...

Now, to the "docu" itself:
The burial site identified so loosely as "the one" in this waste of celluloid is found at the other end of the Holy Land - the southern end - not at all where all the previous (credible) evidence (whether it is archeological, theological, historical and official records too) indicated Jesus spent but A VERY SHORT TIME... Secondly, the deciphering of the ancient Semitic markings found on these ossuaries and on that tomb is not only off the mark as it is BIASED! The claim is spectacular to make - and the lure to get such a sure-fire "ratings-grabber" out there (on the damnable Discovery Channel - what is there to be "discovered" here, D.C.? That you are desperate for ratings? We all knew that already! ;) and make some major noise in the process is just too tempting...
At least, the chance to speak is given, in the "documentary" itself, to those truly in the know - case in point here, scholar Stephen Pfann who reveals that what overzealous disbelievers deem to the bones of a purported son to "Jesus" are really the remains of the offspring of one named "Hanun"...! It is not given to all to be able to read ancient Semitic; likewise, unimaginative nincompoops that you are all in "mock-documentary filmmaking land"; can't you even begin to imagine how many would have been interested in planting fakes, bogus bone boxes, false inscriptions and so on - over all these years?!?
And have you stopped to consider how common and generic many Hebrew names really are...?!?
Will you fools think you've found Moses' body at long last - when you find some jewish joe schmoe buried somewhere and his name happened to be the same...?!?
Don't make it too easy for me to laugh at your false airs now...
(To his defense, once again, Cameron does not base himself on archeology so much as he does on... statistics. WHAT statistics? The mere odds that are artificially estimated here, that this could be "the one", folks...! Puh-leeeeeeeze... Jim likes the odds of this hoax being for real so much that he even called it "sound statistics". Really... You know what else is, Jim? I'll show you very sound odds right now, yeah... "A couple of million to one in favor of you NEVER WINNING ANOTHER UNDESERVED OSCAR IN YOUR LIFE... pal!!!
But I digress - I guess.

The James Ossuary (2005) was a fraud...
(How tempting it is to say that James is one too... But I'll refrain...)
The Jesus Ossuary is a bigger, more daring fraud (fraudulent atheistic creeps are going for broke now, I'd say...! All or nothing, eh? It will rather wind up being all for nothing or much ado about nothing - indeed!)
Alas for their subterfuge, it deeply lacks in the LOGIC department - for, early Christians (meaning: Apostles into the second and third generations who were to spread the Good News) would not be so DUMB as to contradict their own work!!! This has got to be planted to DISCREDIT that work - and cripple Faith.
A professor at the conservative Protestant Dallas Seminary, Darrell Bock, summed it up this way too: why would Jesus's family or followers bury his bones in a family plot and "then turn around and preach that he had been physically raised from the dead?" - inscribing names when bones can be... well, ANONYMOUS! (Duh!)
This has been reported as too Biblical a rebuttal for the secular world that we live in: but is secular synonymous with illogical then? (I knew there was a perfectly EXCELLENT reason why I refused to be secular - heck, why I loathed secularism! ;)
To see a once "on top of the world" director like Cameron be involved with this is utterly PATHETIC.
I retire my once-professed desire/dream to ever work on a script with you, Jim!


Scholars, clergy slam Jesus documentary

By MARSHALL THOMPSON, Associated Press Writer

JERUSALEM (AP) — Archaeologists and clergymen in the Holy Land derided claims in a new documentary produced by James Cameron that contradict major Christian tenets, but the Oscar-winning director said the evidence was based on sound statistics.

"The Lost Tomb of Jesus," which the Discovery Channel will run on March 4, argues that 10 ancient ossuaries — small caskets used to store bones — discovered in a suburb of Jerusalem in 1980 may have contained the bones of Jesus and his family, according to a press release issued by the Discovery Channel.

One of the caskets even bears the title, "Judah, son of Jesus," hinting that Jesus may have had a son, according to the documentary. And the very fact that Jesus had an ossuary would contradict the Christian belief that he was resurrected and ascended to heaven.

Cameron told NBC'S "Today" show that statisticians found "in the range of a couple of million to one in favor of it being them." Simcha Jacobovici, the Toronto filmmaker who directed the documentary, said the implications "are huge."

"But they're not necessarily the implications people think they are. For example, some believers are going to say, well this challenges the resurrection. I don't know why, if Jesus rose from one tomb, he couldn't have risen from the other tomb," Jacobovici told "Today."

Most Christians believe Jesus' body spent three days at the site of the Church of the Holy Sepulcher in Jerusalem's Old City. The burial site identified in Cameron's documentary is in a southern Jerusalem neighborhood nowhere near the church.

In 1996, when the British Broadcasting Corp. aired a short documentary on the same subject, archaeologists challenged the claims. Amos Kloner, the first archaeologist to examine the site, said the idea fails to hold up by archaeological standards but makes for profitable television.

"They just want to get money for it," Kloner said.

Cameron said his critics should withhold comment until they see his film.

"I'm not a theologist. I'm not an archaeologist. I'm a documentary film maker," he said.

The film's claims, however, have raised the ire of Christian leaders in the Holy Land.

"The historical, religious and archaeological evidence show that the place where Christ was buried is the Church of the Resurrection," said Attallah Hana, a Greek Orthodox clergyman in Jerusalem. The documentary, he said, "contradicts the religious principles and the historic and spiritual principles that we hold tightly to."

Stephen Pfann, a biblical scholar at the University of the Holy Land in Jerusalem who was interviewed in the documentary, said the film's hypothesis holds little weight.

"I don't think that Christians are going to buy into this," Pfann said. "But skeptics, in general, would like to see something that pokes holes into the story that so many people hold dear."

"How possible is it?" Pfann said. "On a scale of one through 10 — 10 being completely possible — it's probably a one, maybe a one and a half."

Pfann is even unsure that the name "Jesus" on the caskets was read correctly. He thinks it's more likely the name "Hanun." Ancient Semitic script is notoriously difficult to decipher.

Kloner also said the filmmakers' assertions are false.

"It was an ordinary middle-class Jerusalem burial cave," Kloner said. "The names on the caskets are the most common names found among Jews at the time."

Archaeologists also balk at the filmmaker's claim that the James Ossuary — the center of a famous antiquities fraud in Israel — might have originated from the same cave. In 2005, Israel charged five suspects with forgery in connection with the infamous bone box.

"I don't think the James Ossuary came from the same cave," said Dan Bahat, an archaeologist at Bar-Ilan University. "If it were found there, the man who made the forgery would have taken something better. He would have taken Jesus."

None of the experts interviewed by The Associated Press had seen the whole documentary.

On the Web:

Is This Jesus's Tomb?
Monday, Feb. 26, 2007 By DAVID VAN BIEMA
The entrance to a burial cave in southern Jerusalem is seen in this undated photo. Archaeologists and clergymen in the Holy Land derided claims in a new documentary, The Last Tomb of Christ, produced by the Oscar-winning director James Cameron, that contradict major Christian tenets.
Vision TV / AP
Article Tools
Click here to find out more!

There were two types of fame on display at the press conference Monday morning in a grand, sky-lit room at the back of the New York Public library. There was director James Cameron, towering like a a six-foot-plus druidic monolith in a dark jacket and black turtleneck. And there was a light tan limestone box about two feet long lying on a table in front of Cameron — which the Titanic director was presenting as the burial box of Jesus Christ. All things being equal, we know who would be the bigger draw. (It was John Lennon who said he was bigger than Jesus, not Cameron, right?) But all things were not equal. Those in the room knew that Cameron was provably authentic. The other guy? Much more problematic.
Titanic Claim: Jesus Still Dead

Director James Cameron announces a documentary that he believes will shake the underpinnings of Christianity

Cameron (acting as producer), biblical film documentarian Simcha Jacobovici and a handful of their expert consultants were at the Library to publicize Jacobovici's The Jesus Family Tomb, which will run this Sunday on the Discovery Channel, and a HarperSanfrancisco book of the same name. Their claim is that there was indeed a Jesus family tomb in what is now suburban Jerusalem: and that the two bone boxes on the table in front of them, exported from Israel, had contained the remains of Jesus and Mary Magdalene, whom the filmmakers assert was Jesus's wife and the mother of a son named Judah. Meet the Jesuses! Cameron told the press that when Jacobovici, who has been working on the project for years, laid it out for him in detail, he thought, "I'm not a biblical scholar, but it seemed pretty darned compelling." He added, "I said, this is the biggest achaeology story of the century. And I still believe that to be true."

If true, of course, it is more than that. If true, it is a contradiction, in the most earthy, concrete way, of the Bible, which claims that Jesus was taken up bodily into heaven.

But as its creators have revealed more and more of it over the last two days, key parts of it seem increasingly like debatable conjecture.

Here's the set-up. In 1980 a construction crew in the Jerusalem suburb of Talpiot chanced upon a first-century tomb, which are not uncommon in that city. The Israeli Antiquities Authority found 10 bone boxes there, and stored them in a warehouse. Some bore inscribed names: Jesus, son of Joseph; Maria; Mariamene e Mara; Matthew; Judas, son of Jesus; and Jose. Each name with the exception of Mariamene seemed common to their period, and it was only in 1996 that the BBC made a film suggesting that. given the combination, it might be that family. The idea was eventually discounted, however, because, as University of St. Andrews (Scotland) New Testament expert Richard Bauckham asserted in a subsequent book, the names with Biblical resonance are so common that even when you run the probabilities on the group, the odds of it being the famous Jesus's family are "very low."

Jacobovici, however, remained fascinated, and announced at the press conference what he had added to the equation:

—University of North Carolina scholar James Tabor told him that Mariamene was the name some Christians gave to Mary Magdalene. If true, that added a rather uncommon name to the statistical mix. (Or as Cameron put it, "If you found a John, a Paul and a George, you're not going to leap to any conclusions... unless you found a Ringo.").

—Jacobovici also contends that "Jose," a name that appears in the Bible as that of one of Jesus's brothers, is rarer than previous scholars thought.

— He came up with a new process called "patina fingerprinting," which purports to show that a different bone box that popped up in the hands of an Israeli collector some years ago and is alleged to have contained the remains of Jesus's brother James originally came from Talpiot, which would raise the coincidence level even higher.

—And Jacobovici managed to get tests done on DNA from the "Jesus" and "Mariamene" bone-boxes that indicated that they were not related on their mother's sides: therefore, Jacobovici quotes the DNA expert as saying, if this was indeed a family tomb, the two "would most likely have been husband and wife" (which is the source of his contention that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were married and that the Judah in the tomb was their son).

That last bit alone should give some sense of how problematic some of Jacobovici's conclusions are. A sampling of difficulties:

— If "Jesus" and "Mariamene" weren't related matrilineally, why jump to the conclusion that they were husband and wife, rather than being related through their fathers?

— The first use of "Mariamene" for Magdalene dates to a scholar who was born in 185, suggesting that Magdalene wouldn't have been called that at her death.

— St. Andrews' Bauckham defends his probabilities, noting that Jacobovici was comparing his name-cluster to the rather small sampling of names known to have been found on bone boxes, while his own basis for comparison, which adds names from contemporary literature and other sources, makes the combo far less unusual.

— Asbury Theological Seminary professor Ben Witherington, a early Christianity expert who was deeply involved with the James Ossuary, says there are physical reasons to believe it couldn't have originated in the Talpiot plot.

Darrell Bock, a professor at the conservative Protestant Dallas Seminary, whom the Discovery Channel had vet the film two weeks ago, adds another objection: why would Jesus's family or followers bury his bones in a family plot and "then turn around and preach that he had been physically raised from the dead?" If that objection smacks secular readers as relying too heavily on scripture, then Bock's larger point is still trenchant: "I told them that there were too many assumptions being claimed as discoveries, and that they were trying to connect dots that didn't belong together."

Your move, Mr. Titanic.

I don't expect much of any move coming from Jim - he admitted it himself:

he is not a theologist

he is not an archeologist

he places all of his trust in statisticians and phoney experts like Simcha

he only goes for what is "compelling" television or filmmaking (celluloid wasting's more like it) or ratings grossing...!

he loooooves the publicity
(admit it, Jim!)

he salivates at the thought of getting a chunk of Da Vinci Code-sized earnings here - he may even be, in fact, dreaming of topping these!
(after all, four divorces costs a BUNDLE these days - right, Jim? Maybe you should have gone about it the other way around; by converting! Haven't you heard that some religions allow for polygamy?!?)

and he wants another Titanic.

Of course!

Enjoy that sinking feeling, Jim!

The devil - after the deep blue icy sea - awaits thee now...!

(Fact: Titanic was, in 1996 or 1997, given a bogus working title to throw off Hollywood insiders and attempt to avoid "the news" from leaking too soon that another film on that tragedy was being made... The fake working title was "Planet Ice". The devil is known by many names: one of them is Mr. Frost. Makes sense too; no colder guy than that guy, I tell ya! No heart! No soul! No compassion! He hates us all - the human race - for taking his spot as God's favorite Creation! Hence...
Anyway - see the icy pattern?
I thought you would!)

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