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Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Luminous Confession

I am not "luminous"...
When I say that I want to reflect the Light,
like the moon reflects the sun,
it is more wishful thinking -
a prayer, even, one could say -
than anything else.
They joked that Beethoven might have not
composed an extra symphony
had he known it would have been used
-eventually- by the self-serving dolt
whose real name is Levesque, not Helmsley.
Edith Wharton might not have penned
her famous Light-reflecting phrase
either - if she had foreseen that
I would have used it eventually
so shamelessly, so whimsically...

For if I was truly "luminous" -
I would not push away everyone I love.
I would not cumulate regrets -
and hesitate so much to
"do the right thing"
or quite simply "go for it"...
If I was truly "luminous",
I would not be so pessimistic.
If I was truly "luminous",
I would not be so glum - today.
Or any other day...

I look back, and all I see
is a series of mishaps;
too few "good moves"
and too many
disappointments -
some of which,
I am sad to admit,
I occasionated myself.

No, I am not half as luminous
as my web persona is.
I preach a good message;
and cannot do as well
as I tell others to do...
Like a priest used to say,
back in the country
where my ancestors were born;
he'd say "do as I say
and don't do as I do."
I am forced to come to the conclusion
that I am just like he was...
I look at the glass half-empty
not as half-full -
I expect the worst,
not often the best...
I try to see Christ in the other;
I do not succeed often at this.
In that, I do not think I am wrong;
not because the majority of people
are also distrustful of everyone they meet
but because the majority of people today
do not even know Christ;
much less have Him in them...

I confess that I have little
to no faith - in Humanity.
I never hid that fact.

I try to be a worthy reflector of Light
His Light - God's Light
And I wonder how I can truly do that.
How can I represent His Love
on this wretched earth -
when I do not know how to love
or how to show it to others -
and when I cannot love
because of that.

Anyone I ever hurt
-in any way-
please forgive me.

Beautifully said. I also wonder, Luciano, how can I do that...
Awareness is already a first tangible step to a solution...

Ah, I wish it was '99 still...
Or better yet: '86...

Those good times will never return.

Thank you for stopping by.

Thank you for you kind words.
You trigger thoughts of peace and love.
I´ll come back, I also like your style and I´m going to link you in my site.
Muito obrigado!
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