Monday, October 12, 2009
What Do You Have To Be Thankful For On Canadian Thanksgiving... Eh?
Not that you have to be *Canadian* per say in order to be *Thankful* about anything, now...!
After all, isn't it Thanksgiving Day in Australia, too, mate...?
Thus, basically, if you are a flawed HUMAN BEING (and aren't we all just that - flawed, that is)
Be thankful for...
the air you breathe
the food you eat
the water you drink
the comfort you enjoy
the love you share
More specifically, though...
if your name is GATES... be thankful all the cheap tactics made you rich and it's allowing you to hire a squadron of pettifoggers that keep (most) of the millions right where they are...!
if your name is BUSH... be thankful your reflexes are still good enough to dodge shoes - and were never tested by he need to dodge other projectiles...!
if your (attributed) name is BENEDICT (XVI)... be thankful they don't poison popes nowadays - not anymore; not in these highly mediatic days...
if your name is (supposedly) MADONNA (LOUISE, really)... be thankful the competition is not as long-lasting as a Duracell battery - or you!
if your name is (purportedly) "LADY GAGA"... be thankful Lady Godiva cannot sue for defamation and blatant ridiculization of character!
if your name is JESUS LUZ... be thankful Heaven does not employ lawyers - unless It Does So in Mysterious (dare I say Luminous) Ways That actually better this world by extracting one injustice (at least one) from its sorry record of a beaten butt-faced landscape...!!!
But I am digressing all of a sudden...
if your names are ANAHEIM ANGELS... you can likewise be thankful Heaven's Genuine Articles never sued your sorry hides; but most of all be thankful you never run across Hell's variety...
Of curse... I mean, of course... you can also be thankful the Boston Red Sox played of the part of slumbering giants that never woke up, this year - sort of your Anakim... Just don't expect that your reversal of fortune will emulate the Sox' own role-reversal twist against either Cleveland Indians or New York Yankees (circa 2004-2005)...
Remember my luminous phrase: "hope for the best... expect the worst... that way, you'll be primed and ready for any eventuality!"
(So what - either this phrase is in constant evolution or I paraphrased myself! Proof positive I typed all this the old-fashioned way; didn't just copy and paste it like some would do...! But don't make me digress... again!)
But to veer back towards the 49th parallel...
if your name is HARPER... be thankful; you DON'T own a BAZAAR - no one would ever shop in it. Be thankful you DON'T make a career singing "with a little help from your friends" - you would never get any help at all! Be thankful you ARE heading a minority government - that way, you can say that you made so many blunders due to lack of effective ressources...!
I could go on...
But I will not.
Happy Thanksgiving... folks!